always (after the revolution)

CHAPTER TWO

" you look like yourself but
you're somebody else only
it ain't on the surface "

𝗣𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗮 𝗣𝗢𝗩

"Peeta?" i hear a quiet whisper from behind me, a voice i haven't heard in a long time. She stands just a few feet away from me, bow and arrow in hand. "you're home," She continues.

She looks terrible, and i'm not saying it in a bad way, but she really does. She's thinner than last time i saw her, much thinner. I don't really feel it though until she drops her things and throws her arms around me. This kind of embrace is unexpected, but i welcome her into it, holding on tight to her frail body. I try and run my hand through her hair but it's all tangled, "Katniss, I'm so sorry" i whisper into her hair.

"it's not your fault, Peeta," she pulls the words together to form a reply. "i'm just glad your home."

Eventually, after a long, warm hug, we break apart. She looks behind as if to question what i'm doing, eyeing up the small yellow flowers that i'm planting. "I, um, i found these, on the edge of the woods. it's a primrose.."

"peeta," she whispers again. I watch as her emotions change on her face, so many, but all so readable. Her lifeless eyes flicker up and meet mine, before she collapses to her knees. I watch as she breaks down, her body racks with sobs, and i'm met with the familiar painful cries of loss.

I help her inside, but her house is a mess. i don't think she's cleaned since before the quell, there are leaves all over the floor and dishes piled up in the sink, but they're not recent.

I sit next to her on the couch, and there's a gap between us. "You can talk to me, you know?" i spoke "i came back for you."

i feel as though this takes her by surprise. "what do you mean, peeta?" she asked.

"when i was in the capitol getting treated, Haymitch came to see me, he told me about you, how you hardly leave your house, or eat, or sleep. He asked me to come back for you, Katniss" i responded.

she let out a quiet hum, before shuffling towards me so she could lean her head on my shoulder. I think i love her, but i'm not sure why. i remember little details from before i was hijacked, like when we kissed on the beach during the quell or those nights we spent together on the train. The rest is just what people have told me. I'm supposed to love her, but that voice, laced with venom in my head tells me i can't. Haymitch's words play through my head "you need to come back to us, boy. if not for me then do it for her. It may not seem like it, but she needs you, she loves you. She doesn't even know it herself"

Does she? Is he just saying that? There are still some days when i think all of it was her fault, my family and the district was  destroyed because of her, But today i'm more fortunate. i remember the goodness in her, her strength, and her simplicity.

I'm brought out of my train of thought by her quiet express of what sounds like an apology.

"I'm sorry, Peeta... for everything" she mutters, lifting her head from my shoulder. i shift my body to face hers before i bring my hand up to her face. Her eyes scan the room, landing in her hands. "you were too kind, and generous. you didn't deserve half of what the capitol did to you..."

"It's ok Katniss, it wasn't your fault that the capitol ruined 12.  I hate to see you like this, you're not taking care of yourself" i say, hoping it hasn't come off as insolent. I stand and make my way to the fireplace, and light a fire.