𝐓𝐨𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 - 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐞 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐭

𝐌𝐢𝐱𝐭𝐚𝐩𝐞

I tip toe on my naked feet over to my jacket hoping that everyone is finally asleep.
I didn't dare to pull out the cd until I was alone in my room and everyone is asleep you can never know if someone walks in at any second.

I grab the cd and my small player plugging in some headphones before I get into my bed hiding under the duvet.

I clip on my flashlight and put the cd in the player making some sounds before the cd starts to spin and the word 'sorry' written on it blurs as it turns.

I put in the headphones and hold my breath as the first song starts to play.
The melody of Chicago starts to play and I recognize the song immediately something pulling at my heart when I remember the title.

Hard to say I'm sorry.

I let myself fall on my back as I close my eyes and listen to the tunes.
I'm such a hypocrite one second I comfort my sister and the next second my heart beats faster at Timothée's mixtape.

Why did he even do this?
It's wrong of him and I know that but the sweet gesture makes me almost forget the small confrontation we had.
Almost.

The song fades and gets replaced with another one.
Somewhere only we know starts to play and I get chills all over my body.

This is the sweetest thing anyone ever did for me and I can't imagine how much time this took to find the perfect songs that fade into each other so nicely.

He thought about it really good and now I feel even more bad for hiding under the blanket listening to songs on a mixtape that my sister's boyfriend did just for me.

I feel even more terrible when I think about their fight today and the suspicion that it could be because of me doesn't make it any better.

I sigh and squeeze my eyes shut the soft tunes of wonder wall lulling me into a restless sleep.

Sunday passes quickly and uneventfully.
Jenna stays in her room all day and lets nobody inside not even me.

I come out of my room to eat and get back listening to music, working on school work, talking to Kyle over the phone for an hour just doing anything to distract me from the CD player laying under my pillow.

Mom checks on me a few times while Dawson and Tarver go to the cinema.
Dad chills in front of the tv all day long which meant I couldn't watch a movie to distract my wandering thoughts.

I hate Sunday's just because nothing happens and it's a harbinger of Monday.
And when I hate something more than Sunday's it's Monday's.

I'm still half asleep after first period as I drag my ass towards my next class.
"You look awful." Kyle jogs up beside me and I give him a sarcastic grin.
"Thanks that was just the look I was going for."

"Rough Weekend?"

"More like rough year." I tell him letting out a big yawn.
I wish I were in my bed now cuddled up in an unhealthy amount of blankets.
And a hot chocolate that'd be nice.

Kyle chuckles beside me and grabs my shoulder pulling me to his left side so I don't run into a big pillar that I didn't see.

"Thanks." I say not even scared that I almost ran into it.
"What did you do all night? Run a marathon?" He asks me genuinely surprised.

No I listened to music..
"I did homework I was so behind you don't even understand." I lie straight through my teeth and he buys it.

"Next time text me I can send you a few I don't want you running into your death just because you needed to catch up on homework."

I look up at him touched by his concern.
I push my head against his shoulder for a second giving him a grin.
"You're so sweet thank you."

"That's the least I could do. You put in so much effort for the band, your songs are amazing." He shrugs his shoulders and I smile because I'm not really good at taking compliments.

"The songs really come to life with your beats and Lola's melody's." I say before we reach our classroom.

Kyle opens the door for me and lets me walk inside first.
We get to the back and sit down at a table.

"How's your little affair?" He suddenly asks and my head snaps up my knee banging against the table making me wince.

"Ow son of a.." I hiss holding my knee while Kyle erupts into booming laughter.
"If I knew you'd wake up so fast if I mention him I would've done it earlier." He says in between laughter.

"Don't call it that it makes me feel like a home wrecker." I sigh while I get out my books.
I look at him scared that I really am a home wrecker.

"Was it wrong to write the song?" I ask him now unsure.
His face turns serious as he looks at me.
"They were your feelings I guess and to your luck nobody got hurt by it." He shrugs his shoulders.

I wish I could see it that way as well.
"Do you think I'm a terrible person?" I ask him instead.

"I don't think you should ask me I'm not experienced in that department."

"Then who is experienced in the department of kissing your siblings significant other." I hiss and he gives me a perplexed look.

"You're a guy what would you think?"

"You mean if my brother kissed my girlfriend? I'd probably beat him up." He says and I roll my eyes.
Testosterone.

"If your brothers girlfriend kissed you dumb ass." I say nudging his shoulder.
He thinks for a short second before looking at me.

"We have a bro code Arwen. I don't think what I have to say about it will make you feel better in any way." His words make me feel terrible and I let my head fall against the desk groaning in pain.

Kyle hesitantly places his hand on my back tapping it comfortingly.

I have two options and I need to choose one.
Either I'm telling Timothée that I don't want to talk or see him ever again and give him his cd back before I ignore that the kiss ever happened.

Or I do the right thing and tell Jenna about the kiss begging her for forgiveness and never talking to Timothée again.

"You know what you need to do Arwen. You're not a bad person you know that right?" Kyle asks and I lift my head to look at him tears stinging in my eyes.

"Do you think so?"

"Of course you could never hurt someone on purpose so stop blaming yourself and do the right thing. Tell her." I sigh at his words and nod slowly because I know it's the right thing to do.

"I know I'm gonna tell her..tomorrow." I state and sit up straight set in my determination.

I'm gonna tell her tomorrow.