𝐓𝐨𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 - 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐞 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐭

𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩

"Why won't this go in." I snap pressing another shirt into my bag which just doesn't want to fit.
I sigh and sit down on the floor my favorite shirt in my hands.
Music is playing softly in the background and my heart squeezes a bit at the mixtape.

I don't even know why I'm listening to it. I should've given it back to him as well as the birthday present.
But I couldn't.
It's still wrong but now that he's not with Jenna anymore it feels different.
Ironically it feels as if I should be even more careful.

My eyes wander over to the small book with the leather cover, my name stamped into it.
My heart squeezes even more but before I can stand up and grab it a knock is heard at my door.
My eyes fly towards the door while I tell the person to come in.
"Hey sweetie." My mom pokes her head through the door a gentle smile on her lips and I let out a relieved breath that it's just her and quickly scold myself.

Timothée is at college he wouldn't just drop by.
Well you never know maybe Jenna calls him up sometime and wants to talk but this time I have a weird feeling.
Like it's really over.
"Hey mom." I muster up a smile but it doesn't seem to be convincing enough so she steps inside my room closing the door behind her.
"Everything alright?"

"Sure I just overestimated the space I have in my bag for the trip." I tell her waving the shirt in my hands around.
"How much did you pack?" She furrows her brows as she sits down on her knees slowly in front of my bag.
When she looks inside she starts to laugh.
"If you just throw it in there no wonders it doesn't fit." She says as she picks out every item of clothing I pushed in.

I push my hair out of my face frustrated and lay on my back staring at the ceiling.
The music is still playing and my mom hums quietly while she folds my clothes.
"Why do you have so many shirts? It's not gonna be that warm you're going to catch a cold." She says and I sit up again looking at her.
"It's too warm to sleep in a long sleeve." I tell her and a small grin forms on her lips making me tilt my head at her a smile tugging at mine as well.

"What?" I ask her confused by her amusement.
"You're going away for one week and you pack six shirts to sleep in?" She looks up at me her eyes sparkling as the grin widens.
Okay maybe she's right but I like to be prepared.
My eyes lay themselves on the shirts and I ponder which one I don't need to take with me necessarily.

"Okay maybe this can stay home." I say grabbing the one with Led Zeppelin printed on it.
My mom chuckles and I pout looking at her.
"I took one away don't make me choose between the others." I tell her and she nods while putting them neatly folded into the bag.

"That's beautiful music you have playing is it new?" She asks me suddenly catching me off guard.
"I..it's a mixtape someone gave me..Kyle." I tell her and the lie burns in my throat and pulls at my heart.
I hate lying to my mom it feels wrong.
Her eyes glance at me for a second before she nods.
"He really likes you." Her tone is suggestive and my brows raise as I let out a small laugh.

"Kyle and I are just friends believe me he's totally into Lola." I tell her still chuckling and my eyes widen when she nods over to the leather book.
"So that's not from Kyle I guess?"
Shit.
I know I shouldn't have let it lay around somewhere but I thought that my family is too naive to really care for it and think it's a normal book I always had.

I should've known better mom always catches the details and can form a puzzle in no time.
"Uh no it's a birthday present." I tell her because I can't seem to lie to her again.
She finishes packing and nods walking over to the book.

"Look into my eyes
You will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart
Search your soul
And when you find me there
You'll search no more."
She reads the words on the first page of the book and her brows shoot up as she turns around to look at me.