London Life [A Jack and Finn Harries fanfic]

Who You Are

Chapter 10- Kylie's POV

Something's wrong with Ella. I know it. We can never hide anything from each other. I'm learned to keep my pain to myself but with Ella I have to tell her everything or I'm lying to myself.

She is in her room with the lights off on her phone.

I can hear her start crying again. I'm so tired of this. Why can't she see how beautiful she is. Those comments on the twitcam really messed with her.

"Ella" I stand in her door way. She doesn't take her eyes off that phone.

But she continues to cry

"ELLA" I yell snatching her phone away

She jerks her head up and her eyes get big.

"What" she says innocently

"Look what you're doing to yourself" I sit down on her bed "what is up with you lately? Something has changed since that twitcam. Tell me now" I give her a stern look

She looks away and her mouth starts to shake, she shuts her eyes tightly.

"I stopped eating so I would be perfect. So those girls would stop hating me. Who would hate a skinny, pretty girl. I'm not good enough for Jack"

Suddenly my world stops. My heart starts beating out of my chest and this huge weight is suffocating me

"what" tears build up in my eyes

"Apparently I'm fat and ugly and not good enough for Jack" she tilts her head and stares at the wall.

I just sit there not saying anything. Not even a thought is running through my busy mind. My body goes numb.

"I'm sorry" she chokes afraid she triggered something in me.

"It's not okay... Do you remember what happened 2 years ago? What all happened to me. How you promised you would never do the stuff I did. Ella why" I shake my head holding back tears

"I'm sorry" she says again "Kylie I'm sorry" she takes my hand.

I jerk it away "I was in treatment for a year because of an eating disorder,depression, and anxiety. Do you not remember that?!" Whenever I get worked up its not good. I have to keep calm or my anger will always get the best of me.

She shakes her head up and down

"Do you know how much physcology problems I have now because of what I did to myself back then" I stand up and pace back and forth.

"Kylie. I know I just want to loose weight...." She unfolds the covers

"Yeah so did I. I lost 10 kilograms in 2 months because I had 3 meals every week. I'm Still struggling every day with that disease even though it was 2 years ago. Ella it's a trap. It will be your best friend one day, loosing weight, then another you're crying from a treatment center because you can't see your family till another 3 months"

I woke up and told myself 'you're not eating today'. That one phrase changed my life forever. After anorexia beat me I became severely depressed. I didn't want to talk to people, be in public, go to school, just stay alone in my room.

Ella was always there for me. She always cheered me up, stayed on the phone with me all hours of the night when I had anxiety attacks. All of my other friends left me because I was 'too crazy' and didn't fit in with them.

She was always the pretty one in school. Everyone liked her. She made great grades all A's. When we met it was like 2 different worlds collided together but they went together perfect. It's hard to explain; we can read each others minds basically.