MOONSINGER ━ kaz brekker (disc.)

MOONSINGER

      WHEN KAZ BREKKER OFFERED VIRA KIR-BEHRAM FOUR MILLION KRUGE TO FIND A SHIP AND SAIL IT TO THE ICE COURT, her first thought was money! It was a mantra repeating in her head, over and over and over again, chanting, intoning, promising. So inviting, Vira could almost taste it — taste the champagne, the rich food, the sea air. And money tasted good. 

Her second thought was what's the catch? because Kaz Brekker never did anything without a reason, and he certainly wouldn't be giving away money like that for such a simple job. Especially Kaz, who's perhaps the most pessimistic, glowering gang leader in all of Ketterdam (he's also the cleverest, so his bad nature is ignored), good news is either a lie or veiled bad news — and anything that good must be a lie.  

So she does what any self-respecting idiot trying to make a decision would do; she makes a pros and cons list.

       PRO: Say the job goes right, and they manage to pull off this ridiculously complicated heist — the one that involves getting themselves locked in prison, on purpose. Then it's only the simple matter of escaping, just to sneak into the most secure vault in the world (and get out again, which is the hard part) — then she'll be free. She'll never have to look at Jastor Decar's smug little face again and force a smile, swallowing her nausea rising up in her throat, stifling the urge to vomit. She'll never have to put on a smile and brave face on bad days, pushing herself out of bed to force herself to work. She'll never have to break the nose of another of those gang members who thing they can have their way with any woman who walks past. She can leave the horrible, disgusting land that is Kerch — where money means everything and nothing means anything — and start a new life for herself. She'll be free. No chains, no aching ropes around her ankles, no blood on her hands and no more corpses. If the job goes right. 

       CON: The job is almost certainly not going to go right. You don't take a piece of raw meat inside a cage of starving wolves, and expect them not to eat it. No, you expect them to tear it apart with their ravenous, unyielding hunger, and hope that blood won't get on your shoes. Nina and Vira are going to be strung up like new Saints, nailed to the wall, blood dripping from their palms, skin ripped, body drained of liquid. And only then she will be burnt, charred to ashes and  and cast out of the Ice Court like all those other Grisha. 

       PRO:  She'll get to sail the sea again — feel the open air on her face, taste the salt on her tongue and know that for once it's not the taste of blood. There'll be no chains, no ties, no responsibility for one heavenly week, where she can forget who she's supposed to be, and just be Vira Kir-Behram. There'll be nothing but water between her and her freedom, and the water has always been more of a home than land. Maybe this is finally her chance to sink beneath the waves and let it fill her throat, let the air be choked from her lungs. She'll feel free, at least until they step back onto land. 

       CON: She'll have to work with Kaz Brekker — the leader of the Dregs, one of the most dangerous gangs in the Barrel. Oh — also he kinda hates her guts; apparently she talks too much, and to quote him: "silence is money." Vira's pretty sure that money is money, but she wasn't going to argue with him, especially while he was fixing her with that furious gaze; the one that feels like being pierced by a thousand needles all at once, being dissected by them, torn apart. 

The last time they spoke, Kaz said that he'd rather have his throat slit than have another conversation about feelings with her again. Vira hadn't known it was possible to spit the word "feelings" with such adamant, horrified disgust. She had been quite impressed. 

                  PRO: She'll have to work with Kaz Brekker. 

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