A Love Like This

I Don't Recognize Him

January 5, Five months since diagnosis
Scout: 11
Sage: 8

The last week was the same. Amelia would go to pack his wounds. Change the colostomy bag and Marcus would help her get him to the shower.

What she hadn't prepared herself for until that week was the psychosis setting in. He one day laid on the bed and laughed as if there was a phone in his hand. Nothing was there.

Link had screamed at Amelia that we was still a valid person.

"AMELIA GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK." Link shouted from the bed.

"No." Amelia said.

"I AM STILL A VALID PERSON IM NOT DEAD YET." Link screamed.

"I know." Amelia said trying to stay calm.

"THEN GIVE IT TO ME." Link argued.

"I can't." Amelia said. Her and Marcus decided they didn't trust him with what he could say at this stage.

"YOU ARE TRYING TO JUST ERASE ME YOUVE TAKEN MY LAPTOP MY CREDIT CARD MY PHONE YOU JUST WANT ME TO DIE ALREADY." Link shouted.

"No I don't." Amelia said, she tried to not take to heart what he was saying. She knew that wasn't her Link speaking to her like that.

"YES YOU DO. IM JUST DYING TOO SLOWLY FOR YOU." Link yelled.

"She's trying to help you Link." Marcus said.

"IM NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG." Link screamed.

"You are posting mean things about your friends. Mike and Gray." Amelia reasoned.

"THOSE BASTARDS ARENT MY FRIENDS WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME THEY FUCKING VISITED ME." Link said.

"Still." Amelia sighed.

"FUCK YOU AMELIA." Link yelled with all his power.

"Man you don't mean that." Marcus said.

"GET OUT. I HATE YOU YOU JUST WANT ME TO DIE ALREADY." Link shouted.

"No I don't baby. It's me. I don't want you to die." Amelia said getting close.

"I HATE YOU GET THE FUCK OUT." Link shouted.

"Link it's Amelia, you love her." Marcus reasoned.

Amelia and Marcus had seen a glimpse of it before this but this was the intense psychosis Dr. Rutten said would set in. Amelia had dreaded this.

Dr. Rutten had told her when psychosis set in- the end was very very near. His body was dying and his mind was extremely distressed.

"I DO NOT LOVE HER I DO NOT EVEN KNOW HER I HATE HER." Link argued.

"Babe." Amelia begged.

"GET THE FUCK OUT I HATE YOU." Link said.

He grabbed the closest thing to him- A Series of Unfortunate Events Book and tossed it at her.

"Amelia just go, we will all cool down and it will be better." Marcus said getting up.

"GOOD FUCK BOTH OF YOU." Link scoffed.

Marcus shut the door and Amelia collapsed into his arms.

"I don't recognize him. That's not the Link I married." Amelia sobbed.

"I know it isn't. That's not Link. That's the cancer, he doesn't mean it. He doesn't even know what's he is saying." Marcus whispered.

"I dreaded this. This can't be happening." Amelia sobbed.

"I know. But it's almost over. He won't be in pain and he won't suffer." Marcus wiped his own tears.

"Psychosis means it's almost over. I wanted more time, Dr. Rutten said 6-8 months it's been 5." Amelia cried.

"Amelia, I know but he is suffering. He doesn't know his own name. You're scared I know but he won't be suffering." Marcus said rubbing her back.

"I want him to be okay. I don't him to die. I want him to know me and remember our wedding and remember my name. Remember that he loved me at one point." Amelia begged.

"He does love, it's in there somewhere. He loves you that will never ever go away." Marcus said.

-
Sage and Scout walked in as Amelia and Marcus stood at the door.

"Hi Daddy." Sage said.

Link was bobbing his head as he gazed into his hand.

"Daddy?" Scout tapped his shoulder.

"AH." Link sat up.

"Hi Daddy." Sage leaned into him. Link moved her over.

"What's wrong Daddy?" Scout asked.

"Whose kids are these?" Link asked delirious.

"Daddy it's us." Scout said.

"I don't know you. Have we met?" Link said loopy.

"You're our daddy." Sage said.

"No I'm not. I don't have kids. I'm single." Link said staring back at his hand.

"Okay guys how about we go downstairs." Marcus said.

"No we stay with daddy." Sage said.

"JEEZ IM NOT YOUR DAD I DONT EVEN LIKE YOU." Link screamed.

"What?" Scout cried.

"Okay Auntie Donna needs us so let's go see her." Marcus said getting the kids off the bed.

"I love you Dad." Sage said.

"WHATEVER." Link said staring at the ceiling.

Amelia shut the door and just took a breath. Marcus looked at her as Donna took the kids.

"It's time to call the nurse Dr. Rutten suggested." Marcus said.

"I know." Amelia said.

"Beverly Micah." Marcus said reading the piece of paper.

"Yep. And according to the last visit of Dr. Rutten and from today he's gonna need anti psychotics." Amelia sighed.

"It's going to be okay Amelia." Marcus hugged Amelia.

"I know." Amelia said.

"It's almost over. He'll be okay." Marcus whispered.

"I hope. That's not my Link in there." Amelia said.

"I know." Marcus said.

Eric and Maureen stood at the door later that night with Amelia and Marcus.

Link was picking at the dressings on his abdomen.

"I'm like a Barbie. I can only move one thing at a time." Link said in a delirious state.

"Hahah. Hahah." Link laughed at his hand.

"My god." Maureen breathed.

"I know." Eric wrapped her in a hug.

"Yeah, that's not our Link." Amelia said sadly.

"I could drive the queen to her battles." Link said rolling his head towards the ceiling.

"I don't even recognize him." Amelia said tears burning her eyes.