Lifeless / error sequal

4

c h a p t e r  4 :
j u s t   a   d r e a m

My hand caressed his cheek, I smiled softly. I haven't been able to genuinely smile in five months but once my eyes pierced into his deep blue one's, I couldn't do anything else but smile. His arms roamed around my waist, pulling my body against his. He was breathing heavy, with the warmth of his breath on my skin.

I loved every moment of it.

'I missed you' I whisper, still smiling. He observed me, his eyes soft and his arms still touching me everywhere. I moved closer, to feel his lips on mine again after so much time had passed. Our lips brushed against eachother's, I gasped for air moving in even closer.

But right as I was about to feel him again, I stumbled back. No longer feeling the warmth of his arms around me. My eyes looked in horror at the picture in front of me, River laying unconscious on the ground just the same way since the last time I had seen him. I fell back, my body hitting the hard cold ground. I kept looking in front of me, he was just standing here in front of me, I could hear his heartbeat.

I looked at his lifeless body again, my hands trembling uncontrollably. Tears starting forming and not longer after, rolled down my cheeck while I kept looking at him. I tried getting up, but it felt as if I was glued to the ground. I couldn't move, while his body slowly faded away. All memories of his existence slowly disappearing. I looked around me, facing the damaged car and his motorcycle laying not far away from him.

I screamed.

River

I shook my head heavily.

'Angel wake up' I heard a voice in the back of my head 'it's dad, Angel please.'

My eyes shot open.

I was not in my room. Certainly not at home nor at school anymore. My dad was roaming over me, while I was laying in a bed, again not mine. I furrowed my eyebrows, realising I wasn't dreaming anymore. I tried getting up in a sitting position, with my dad's help I succeeded at it. I looked around the room, I was in a hospital. I was no longer wearing my shoes and puffer, I was only left with my normal clothes.

My head was aching but not as bad anymore. My eyes finally adjusted to the lights in the room. I realised I had an IV in my upper arm, some medicine on my night stand that was meant for me to drink after I woke up. Somehow I didn't see the need in taking those.

I had absolutely no wish to stay alive anymore.

'Why am I hear dad ?' I asked him looking innocently 'I feel fine.'

He looked, not mad, but not happy either. His eyes glowed with suspicion and disappointment. He was upset about something and I wondered what exactly that was.

'I lost my patience Angel' he said while sitting in the chair that was right besides my bed, I could see it in his eyes, something bad was about to happen. 'I did everything, every single thing to make you feel at least a little better but you are just the same as you were five months ago.'

'He died dad' I said more like a whisper.

'The love of my life died as well Angel' he caught me off guard, we bearly talked about mom and what he went through after her death 'I didn't see a point in living anymore, but I knew that she wouldn't want me to ruin my life because of her....and I tried so hard for you to get better and become strong again.'

'I know.'

He was right, there was no arguing with that and I knew that damn well. It had been five whole months, and absolutely nothing about my mentall state had changed.

'Five months Angel, five months have passed' he looked right into my eyes 'you aren't eating, you have no life in your eyes and now I find out you are harming yourself....look at you, you're on the verge of dying and I see it happening right in front of me.'

I stopped breathing.

my palms

He knew, of course he would. Just minutes before I lost my conscious, I had digged my nails deep into my palms making them bleed. It was only a matter of time before he would find out. I knew I was hurting him with the way I treated myself.

'Just because you get up for school everyday and put on a nice outfit doesn't mean I don't see what is happening with you.'

'I don't think I will get better, dad.'

I spoke sincerely. He moved closer, now sitting besides me on the bed. His arm around my shoulders to move me against him. He was hurt, I could see it in his eyes.

'You have to do this Angel, maybe not for yourself but for your loved one's' he hugged me tightly and I felt tears building up again 'for your mother' I closed my eyes 'for me' a single tears rolled down my cheecks 'for River.'

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