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I cried as I laid in bed with my hands around my stomach. I was just having one of those days and today was probably the worst! I wished that my baby didn't have to die. I wish I could've kept her.
I say her because I wanted it to be a girl. I've always wanted my first child to be a girl. It has been 2 months since the whole incident with the surgery and everything and I've just been so sad.
I'm almost done with school and it's almost my birthday but I was still sad and I just didn't know why.
"Mama.." I heard, I kept my head under the cover and quickly wiped my eyes and sniffed as quiet as possible. I didn't want her to catch me crying again.
"Hm?" I answered.
"What you doing in here? Why you laying in the bed like that?" She asked before snatching the covers off of me, I whined with a frown before closing my eyes.
"I'm tired.." I whined.
"No you in here crying. Why are you crying Mama?" She asked folding her arms looking at me. "Is this about the baby?" She asked with her eyebrows raised.
"Uh, yes this is about my dead baby.." I replied.
"Mama dont say it like that.." She said shaking her head before sitting next to me. "This is all apart of your plan to make you stronger.."
"Can't tell." I replied.
I feel pretty weak right now if you ask me.
"You wanna get dolled up and stuff?" She asked with a small pout, I wrinkled my nose at her.
"Don't threaten me with a good time.." I said sitting up some, she started laughing as I sat there confused. As always.
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"Girl, that's not how you use that.." She said with a laugh, I looked at her confused. I wasn't understanding how that's not how you use that. Girl it's a whole phrase. Everybody says it all the time.
