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I sat on the couch on my game with my door shut. I didn't wanna be bothered with anyone right now. Not even Muga. I was so irritated and angry that I couldn't even think about nothing else but what I was doing.
I don't wanna be selfish because when it come down to Muga, I can't be. I don't wanna be controlling because when it come down to her, I vowed I wouldn't be. I don't wanna hurt her because I love her too much but what about me?
What about what I went through? How shit gonna affect me? Shit barely go my way and I'm good with that but with this situation it gotta go this way. I don't see any other way it can go.
I just ain't fucking with Muga right now. I needed some time to think and process what was going on because I was sure that I left that whole situation in Los Angeles that night we had an conversation.
She made promises. She comforted me. She said she wouldn't bring him in our lives and now she talking about doing the exact opposite. I ain't fucking with it, at all.
I vowed to myself that I would kill him if I ever laid my eyes on him. I didn't want to be the person who took her father from her but I ain't gonna lie to myself. I give everything to Muga and she doing this.
A knock at the door distracted me from my thoughts. The door pushed open and there stood Muga who was playing with her fingers. "Breakfast is ready."
I eyed her carefully as she stood there. She can't even look at me cause she feel so guilty about what she doing. She supposed to be going up to the jail to talk to her father today since he was on Death Row.
"I already ate." I replied, she huffed.
"Why didn't you been say that?" She asked. "I wouldn't have cooked so much. I understand you're mad but not talking to me isn't cool."
"Why not?" I asked. "It was cool when you wasn't talking to me, right?" I looked at her with my head tilted as she stood there.
"Dejhari," She said. "Be real with yourself-"
"I am!" I cut her off. "You ain't being real with yourself or me! It been like that since jump! I do everything to make you happy. I take shit from you that I'a never take from nobody Muga."
She stayed quiet. "Right. Youn even give a fuck about how I feel. You never do. All you care about is yourself and I'm through."
"Through what?" She asked with her eyebrow up. "You threw up or something?"
Yo what?
"Nah," I said shaking my head as I stood up. "I'm done with you. I ain't happy with you and Ion wanna be with you no more." I said simply.
