Asami's Shadow (Ryoma's POV)

Chapter 41

I stowed my sword and saw her glancing around, unsure as she did the same.  Has she never...  "Let's go eat."  She blinked as she was pulled from her thoughts and nodded as she followed.  "What's on your mind?"

She glanced up at me.  "Everything and nothing."

Her tone gave me pause.  Did I go too far?  "I'm sorry."

Her eyes were wide as she looked back at me. "For what?" I held her gaze.  She can't be serious... am I that forgettable?  "Oh, that's nothing to apologize for."

I felt my lips turn up as my heart fluttered. "So you enjoyed it?"

She arched a brow.  "Don't get your hopes up."

That struck my ego.  Damn her...  "Not like you fought that hard."

Her chuckle was both cute and annoying as we got to the dining room.  She was going to sit, but the emperor beckoned her forward.  "Come here Sayomi, I wish to speak to you before the others come." He looked amused as he looked at both of us, while Youta was frowning. "Eventful morning?"

I smiled as I saw her blush.  Still cute... "Just a little spar. She disarmed me."

His laugh was a little offensive as I regretted my words when they left my mouth. "My niece a match for you Ryoma, either she is a hell of a fighter or you are getting soft." I quickly looked at Youta who was equally as surprised.  "Don't worry about that we spoke last night."

I narrowed my eyes. So, I have to go slow, but you can do whatever... "Let's go with the fighter."

He sobered and turned to her. "Do you want them to know who you are or wait?"

Where she was smug earlier she visibly saddened. "Given the state of things, it's best we wait. She can't be led to believe you'd side with Asami when the time comes."

He only nodded, but I was confused.  No... she can't have decided already... "Understood."

The girls walked in as she sat and the princess immediately began to fix the hair I messed up as she giggled.  You could have left it as it was...  "Playing with swords again I see."

Sayomi didn't miss a beat as she smiled at her.  So... getting along now?  "All to protect you, Sister."

I was so caught up in watching them talk, I missed that Homura sat beside me until she touched me.  I retracted, trying not to look disgusted.  "I sent a servant for you this morning, but she said you refused to come."

I frowned.  "If you wish to speak then we can do so in public areas."

She smile was lecherous.   "Well since we are in a public area now, I would like to ask you something."

I nearly gagged at her expression.  "And that is..."

As she got closer I leaned away. "I would like for you to marry me and become my consort."

The collection of surprise did little to calm my rage, so I immediately moved before I strangled this woman.  She was the current empress, I couldn't exactly refuse unless... it was too soon and it wasn't like I could explain.  I saw Sayomi was tense as she watched me and balanced my head in my hands.  I have no choice...  "I hate to refuse an empress, but I've already been promised to another."

If I thought she was tense before, Sayomi was ready to murder now as she stared at the table as the food was served.  I threw a worried glance at Youta who was not so discreetly glaring at the empress.  It was going so well... how could I explain this?  Would she even believe me?  How could convince a girl that she agreed to this at the age of 5... when she remembered nothing?

Other than to talk to Asami she said nothing, all of us from Wu tense.  Homura watched as they left seemingly disappointed.  I couldn't follow, not now with her watching so closely.  Why?  Why would she... that girl must have saw something... she had to...

I stalked to her room half furious, half terrified.  I paused at the door feeling and hearing the Sayomi's pain as she played the flute.  Just give me a chance to explain...

I tentatively knocked, praying she wouldn't kill me on sight.  Her eyes were bloodshot as the door opened and she tried to slam it when she saw me.  My heart shattered as I saw her tears.  "It's not what you think..."

A sigh escaped her as she turned away from me, wiping her face.  "It doesn't matter what I think."

I glanced around the room, not seeing either if the other girls, but I needed her alone. "Come with me."

In that moment, if she thought I was crazy, I couldn't blame her as she frowned. "No."

To say I was desperate was an understatement, I needed her to hear me.  But again... how to explain she was the girl I was engaged to.  I walked in, closing the door.  "Look, it's not what it seems."

Her glare stopped me in my tracks, but her pain was evident.  I didn't... shit...  I saw her breathing slowly and the glisten of tears in her reflection as she sat in the window.  "It's not completely true." She didn't turn or respond. "You remember the person I built the estate for? That's who I was engaged to, but..." I heaved a breath, only half-truths would get me nowhere.  "I had no other choice, the only way to refuse a proposal like that is to already be engaged."

She looked crushed as she turned to me, not bothering to hide that she was crying.  I did this... I don't know what to do...  "She must have really been something." She heaved a defeated breath and laid her head on the wall, looking at nothing.   "I would really like to be alone right now."

I wanted to comfort her, to tell her the whole truth.  She was my betrothed, it was her.  I waited 11 years to be able to touch her again, but I couldn't just tell her and expect her to just be okay with it.  I moved forward, but stopped.  She... has to come to me...  "When you're ready, I'll be waiting." My heart was dust as I left the room, but what else could I do, outside of scooping her up, telling her the truth, and risking her rejecting the entire engagement.  Please... Sayomi, some part of you has to remember...