Sunshine, you are my sunshine

If Only You Will,

⚠️⚠️Trigger warning for thoughts of self harm and suicide. Please be careful I care about all of you so much.⚠️⚠️

Monokuma immediately handed out the new 'prizes' he gave most of them to Shuichi, as per usual, but he gave Kokichi a card key. The small boy looked at it once and immediately felt panic rising in his chest. This is the same damn card key from some of his nightmares. He felt panic rising in his chest and he desperately wanted not to be there. Looking around him everyone else was gathered around Shuichi so he quickly said goodnight and headed towards his room.
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Shuichi watched as Kokichi left, his brain was stuck on the fact that Monokuma had specifically given Kokichi something. Should he be concerned? The smaller boy had seemed a bit panicked unlike how blank his face had been during the trial. He really wanted to talk to the smaller boy something just wasn't settling right to him. Maybe Kokichi was just tired, he would probably see him before he fell asleep so Shuichi was trying not to be too worried. Everyone started to go their separate ways eventually. He went in the direction of his room after he had said goodnight to Kaito, Ryoma, and Gonta.
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Kokichi carefully sat the card key down and then headed towards Shuichi's room. He still felt a bit awkward sleeping in there but it was the only way Shuichi wouldn't search his arms every morning so it was basically his only option. He didn't mind sleeping in the same bed as Shuichi, actually it made him feel safe and warm, he would never tell Shuichi that though. He huffed dramatically as he exited his dorm and went to Shuichi's. Just as Kokichi had laid down Shuichi entered the room. "Oh hey you're already in here" "'course I am you slowpoke" He yawned as loud as he could and wrapped up in most of the blanket. Shuichi just huffed and grabbed another one. Once they were settled in they just laid there until they eventually fell asleep.
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Kokichi sat on his bed, knife in his hand. He had woken up early from a nightmare and decided he didn't want that nightmare to become true. Did he really want to do this? He had never actually stopped cutting but, he still felt bad about it every time he thought of Shuichi. A part of him wanted to die and he knew he didn't want to be here, but what if he could escape with Shuichi? Wouldn't that be worth living for? But at the same time if he kept living the goddamn nightmare would haunt him forever. Kokichi watched as light from a nearby lamp reflected off the knife. If they escaped would he still feel like this? If the old scars all over his body was any indication he was pretty sure he knew the answer to that.  At the same time however, was it fair to leave Shuichi like this? He saw the signs in Shuichi, if things got bad enough his beloved would probably take the same actions he was debating on doing. Shuichi deserves better than that, he deserved happiness. He poked his finger with the knife lightly, not quite hard enough to draw blood. What should he do? He probably didn't have long before Shuichi would notice he was gone. He huffed to himself, eyes drifting to the keycard. That damn nightmare played in the back of his mind. Nightmares weren't new to him but this one had seemed worse, it seemed more real. He got up and grabbed the keycard, he would prove the nightmare was fake. A part of him screamed that this was a bad idea. He shook his head roughly as he grabbed the electro hammer laying at the side of his bed. "The tunnel is probably just going to be a dead end. It's going to be fine." He told himself. But he didn't really believe it. His nightmares had been too vivid since being here. Images he didn't like popped into his head. Him, standing above Maki's dead body, Gonta crying out for help as he betrayed him, Kiibo horrified at Miu's strangled body, Angie and Himiko's petrified gazes as he slit Tenko's throat, Shuichi begging for him to stop as he turned Kaede's shotput on her to save Rantaro. It was all too much, he collapsed to the floor with his hands gripping his hair. He couldn't take this, he raised his fist and slammed it back down onto his leg. He needed to get himself under control, he needed pain, pain was grounding. He slammed his fist onto his leg again, he was pretty sure he felt some of his cuts reopen. He felt a light sting in his leg and he relished in the feeling. He repeated the attack on his leg until it went numb, blood had started to seep through his pants so he had definitely opened his cuts. He pulled himself up now that he had a hold on himself and grabbed the electro hammer again. all he had to do was go down there, not die trying to get to the exit, and beat shit up with his electro hammer. He repeated the steps in his head like a mantra. And if he took too long he could just sleep down there, it would be fine. He sighed to himself as he made sure he had the card key, and then he went on his merry little way.

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Gonta knew that Gonta wasn't very smart. That's why he always tried to think twice about everything. Then he had to think about what the word 'Twice' meant. In conclusion Gonta didn't have a very big brain. But for what he lacked in brains he thought he made up for it in heart. So here he was out in the courtyard, he probably looked like he had been rolling in mud, which yes he had been doing exactly that but it was embarrassing to admit that. Rolling in mud wasn't very gentlemanly. He just really wanted to see the bugs and to do that he realized that he probably needed to camouflage. He was just laying there when the dormitory door opened. He didn't think it was weird at first. But then he saw it was Kokichi, and he had paint?? Well he wasn't sure what. Maybe it was jam? It looked more like jam than paint. But there was something on him. And he had a weird hammer. Gonta stood up and jogged over to Kokichi. "Hey! What you doing up so early with so much jam?" Kokichi looked confused but then he looked not confused, so Gonta think that good. "Oh, I was making homemade jam in my room and I borrowed this hammer to do it so I'm returning it to the warehouse." "Jam! Can Gonta have some of the jam? Also Gonta not know warehouse had such pretty hammers!" Kokichi chuckled and shifted on his feet. "Yeah sure big guy, Just don't tell anyone, I gotta go now though sooooo." Gonta nodded. "Of course! Gonta go look for bugs again!" Gonta went back to his hiding place and sat down. Surely he'd see a bug eventually.
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Shuichi woke up and yawned immediately. He almost chuckled but he caught himself before he did, Kokichi was a light sleeper and he really didn't want to wake the boy. Shuichi looked over to where Kokichi had fallen asleep last night but he wasn't there. He yawned again and stood up. He walked over to his bathroom and knocked on the door. "Hey Kokichi you in there?" He waited for a response but never got one so he opened the door and changed clothes quickly. Maybe Kokichi had gone to hang out with Miu last night and passed out there? Pushing down thoughts of worry he headed in the direction of Miu's room.

He knocked on her door feeling extremely anxious, he always felt really awkward around Miu but Kaede had really liked the girl. "Jesus fuck Kee-Babe you have a key you gave me a heart atta-" as she talked she had opened the door and was greeted by Shuichi instead of Kiibo. "Okay first, forget everything I just said or I'll kill you. Second, what the fuck are you doing here Pooichi?!" "I was, well I was wondering if Kokichi was with you but I guess not." "The little shit missing?" Shuichi scratched his head. "I'm not sure yet, he might be with Tenko or Gonta" "I'd check Gonta first." Shuichi nodded. "Yeah thanks Miu" "whatever" and with that she promptly slammed the door in his face. Shuichi sighed, Gonta was usually an early bird so he would probably already be in the cafeteria, speaking of 'early birds' the morning announcement either hadn't played yet or he slept through it and he couldn't be sure which was the true one. He walked outside the dorms to find Gonta and immediately saw him just laying down, he was just laying down in mud with a really scary look on his face. Shuichi approached the guy carefully, Despite being the nicest person here the guy could be extremely scary at times. "Hey there Gonta, uh have you seen Kokichi?" Gonta looked over to him and smiled brightly. "Yeah! Friend Kokichi made jam! He said he was going to the warehouse but he went behind school. Gonta only saw because Gonta looking for bugs!" Shuichi nodded. "Thank you for the help Gonta, I'll go find him." Shuichi then headed towards the back of the school. In the distance he could faintly hear Gonta yell "But jam is secret!"

Authors note☺️
Bitch u better be loving and appreciating urself like you fucking go bitch ur a fucking star