Sunshine, you are my sunshine

I Dreamt I Held You

⚠️⚠️trigger warning⚠️⚠️
Please just skip this chapter if mentions of self harm, suicidal thoughts, and/or drowning would hurt your mental health!

"Well that sure was something." Ryoma muttered. Shuichi nodded in agreement. He was at a loss for words. Kaito chuckled half heartedly, "welp c'mon guys let's go play a game or something." "We're already in a game, idiot." Kokichi mumbled. "Eh say whatever you want but I found Uno and I'm dying to play it." Kaito scratched his head. "I was hoping you guys would play with me." "I'll play with you." Ryoma stated. Shuichi nodded his head in agreement. "Nishishi well you guys have fun!" "You aren't going to play?" "Nah I got evil Supreme Leader stuff to do! Byeeeeee~" Kokichi skipped away with a childish grin on his face. "Well c'mon then sidekicks two and four! To the game room!" Kaito led the way to the room going on about how he used to play Uno with his grandparents. By the way Kaito was talking his grandma was either the best player in the world or Kaito and his grandpa sucked at playing Uno. They all made it to the game room faster than expected, considering they were talking on the way there. Kaito pulled out Uno from his pocket and plopped down on the ground. "If you've had it in your pocket this whole time why make us come down here?" Ryoma asked. Kaito shrugged and started setting up the game. While Kaito was setting up the game Shuichi found himself thinking of Kokichi. The boy loved games so why did he just blow off a chance to play one? Maybe he really had something else to do. The more Shuichi thought about that the more it made sense. Kokichi was probably spying on the 'Student Council' or something. Kaito finished giving out cards and Shuichi smiled. This would be fun, he just wished Kokichi was here.

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Kokichi collapsed as soon as he made it inside his room. Why did they want to hang out with him? Shuichi was supposed to be the only one he got close to so why was he a "sidekick" now? Actually he wasn't even supposed to get close to Shuichi. Relationships would only hurt here. Kokichi stood up shakily barely paying attention to the tears rolling down his face. He was so weak. He couldn't even follow his own plan. Kokichi walked over to the white board and stared at it. He moved Kaito and Ryoma into the ??? Section which had only held Shuichi before now. He stared at the board. His picture was nowhere to be found, he chuckled lightly to himself. He strolled over to his trash can and peeped inside, the picture lay there, causing no harm. He grabbed the picture out of the bin. He was smiling with that stupid fake smile, staring and when did they even take these pictures. It hurt so much just to look at the damned thing so Kokichi did what he did best, he destroyed it. He ripped it to shreds relishing in the feeling. He watched as the shredded pieces fell one by one into the trash. He stared as his hand emptied of the picture. He didn't belong on the board, he didn't belong with the others. He tried to laugh but it came off as a sob. Why did he let himself be drawn in by Shuichi? He was supposed to be the bad guy dammit. Goddamn Shuichi with his beautiful eyes messing everything up. He looked to the shattered doll head sitting in the corner of his room. He didn't know why he took it, that case was cut and dry. Nothing was left to wonder about. Kirumi was going to murder so Maki murdered her. Kokichi let out a shaky breath. Why did it have to be them? Why did Kirumi have to get her own fucking motive? And why did Maki kill? He was sure they could've talked it out. They were just idiots, idiots who wanted out of the game. He stared at the board again. Soon enough someone would try to kill him and he'd make sure it ended in their own death. He sighed, it was fine. It would be in self defense. It wasn't breaking the rules. He wouldn't betray D.I.C.E. like that. He wouldn't kill, he wouldn't kill anyone else. He promised himself, he wouldn't kill them. Kokichi found himself stumbling to his bathroom. He wasn't weak. He could do this. He stared at his reflection in the mirror. His eyes were red, and his body was shaking like a leaf.  He shakily raised his hand and delicately touched the tears rolling down his face. They were proof of his weakness, proof that he wasn't who he claimed he was. He walked over to the bathtub-shower hybrid thing. He was too tired to remember the name. He leaned down and put a stopper on the drain. He then turned on the cold water.