Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind - Treebros

Chapter 16: "Flowers Don't Stop Blossoming"

Friday, November 23rd

As a general rule of thumb, the more you do something, the more you get used to it. Like if someone were to jump out and scare you at the same spot every day, you wouldn't get scared after the 4th day because you'd expect it. A sort of mental callus.

My brain did not seem to get this memo however, if the rapid pace my heart is beating at gives any indication. Despite how many times I've hung out with and talked to Connor, I've found myself frantically running around the house to make sure that everything is perfect.

He's been here before. On multiple occasions. I never freaked out as much those times, if at all. Maybe it's because those times were before I realized that observing how attractive someone is on a daily basis isn't a casual-bro thing.

Or maybe it's because Mom's here.

"When is he coming?" she yells from the kitchen as I rearrange the clutter on the coffee table for the 3rd time.

"Like 5 minutes!" I respond.

I stand to check and see if maybe I've decided that I hate my shirt, even though I changed it 10 minutes ago, when I see the vacuum glaring at me from the corner of the living room. I groan, realizing I forgot to vacuum, even though I specifically dragged it out of the closet earlier.

"Evan, relax," Mom says, emerging from the kitchen. She looks almost as frantic as I do, which I would feel guilty for, if I wasn't panicked and now pissed that she still thinks that telling me to relax will make me say 'Oh, thanks! I didn't think of that! I'm perfectly fine now!'.

"Okay, yeah, but he never tells me when he's going to get here until he's practically here already so I don't have anytime to double check anything-" I ramble, and she gently places her hands on my shoulders. I try not to wrench away, but touch is venomous when I'm on the verge of a panic attack.

"Evan. It's fine. Remember what Dr. Sherman said; find one problem that you can fix right now," she says slowly.

Technically Dr. Sherman did say that. To her. But I know that he only said it to her because I brought up how useless her methods of calming me down were, and he knew that I would never tell her that on my own.

"Okay. Okay, okay. Um..." I trail off, my eyes darting around as I search. It's in vain, and I can barely focus on anything besides the way that every breathe seems to choke me. "I don't know, Mom, I don't know, I can't-"

"Honey, calm down, okay? Take a deep breath-" The doorbell interrupts her. Connor must be eager to get away from his family.

"That was definitely not 5 minutes, he has absolutely no concept of time, oh my God," I whisper all in one breathe, chest heaving.

"I'll go answer the door, and you can-" Mom starts, but I push past her.

"No, because then he's gonna feel cornered if I'm not there. I can answer the door, it's fine," I say. She tries to argue but the door's already open.

"Hi," I greet, though it's more of a 'pant' than anything.

"Hey. You are breathing very hard," Connor observes. He must have cleaned up for the occasion too, as his hair looks slightly damp from a shower and his jeans are blue instead of black. I don't think I've ever seen him in blue jeans before.

"Yes, I am. I worked myself into a panic over something very stupid. You know, the usual," I say, and he smiles.

"Ah. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I almost got into a fist fight with some cords, but I'm fine." Connor laughs. I don't know where Mom is, but I know for a fact she's somewhere where she can hear us.