Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind - Treebros

Chapter 18: "Sitting Still With A Brain On Fire"

the trigger warnings have been updated, you can find them in the description. stay safe<3

Tuesday, December 11th

An eel, or something as equally slimy and cold, is wrapped around my heart, curling through me and sitting heavily at the bottom of my rib cage, bogging down my soul like it's been soaked in water. My thoughts float around aimlessly in my head, incoherent and vague.

My hands tremble like a struck violin string. They're far from subtle, but no one's prodded yet. Maybe they just don't care enough to.

"Do I get my glasses?" Alana asks, pursing her lips like she's thinking.

"Yes," Jared answers, at the same time Connor says, "No! You could break them and use the glass. That's an unfair advantage."

"Why would I do that?"

"Weapon," Connor states, looking between them like it's obvious. I don't know what they're talking about. I don't know how long we've been here for. I definitely don't know why my hand is joined with Connor's, or why they're resting on his thigh, or why he's stroking the back of my palm with his thumb.

My arms don't feel like they're connected to me. I don't want to pull away, which is good because I don't think I can.

"Then I wouldn't be able to see," Alana says, sharing a glance with Jared.

"You could make fire with the glare from the glasses," he points out, pushing around his nachos with a fork.

"That's just making up for the fact that I need them in the first place," she claims.

The day comes to me in flashes. Washing my sticky and tear-stained face. Wincing in the shower. Smiling blankly at Alana. Excusing myself from class. Grabbing Connor's hand as soon as he sits down.

That explains that then. Did we ever let go?

"Okay. I would go to the Cornucopia, grab a bag, and run," Alana continues, and I try to zone back in to what they're saying.

"Just because it worked for Katniss doesn't mean it'll work for you, y'know," Connor says. She ignores him.

"I'll go for the side that has the most amount of higher-District kids, and look really mean so I'll scare them off," she explains. They must be talking about the Hunger Games. The sickly feeling in my head is condensing into pain that settles in between my ears.

"What if they see through it?"

"Then I'd fight."

"And if you lost?" Jared asks. Connor looks over at him, before zeroing in on me. Something about me must look more aware, because he smiles gently and raises his eyebrows in a question.

"It will very quickly become someone else's problem," Alana replies simply. I attempt to smile, but it feels like more of a grimace. It's like I forgot how to function. But he accepts this, hesitantly nodding and chewing his lip.

"Okay. You run from the Cornucopia and into the forest. What do you do first?" Connor asks her, turning his attention back to their conversation. I'm too much work. I don't blame him for not wanting to bother.

"Check my bag," she answers.

"Okay, you have..."

"What are you, the Dungeon Master?" Jared scoffs.

"Shut up," Connor says, looking irritated.

I feel a weight around my left hand and discreetly look down. He's holding it, and lightly running his thumb across my knuckles. I feel like I already knew that.