Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind - Treebros

Chapter 42: "All Good Things"

Tuesday, July 2nd

  Optimism isn't something I'm well acquainted with, but I buzz with it as I knock on the door of the Murphy house. Yesterday was good. We parted on a good note. We texted each other goodnight.

We're in an upward swing right now and I'm going to try so hard to keep it that way. This summer will be it for us. 2 months of each other's house, of dates in the park, of kisses that taste like stars.

The door opens, and I do a double take. It's Connor. Usually it's Zoe who opens the door for some reason.

"I think that's the first time you've opened the door instead of your sister," I joke. But Connor doesn't smile.

"I remember opening the door to you a few times," he says, stepping back to let me in. I hesitate, before walking in and closing the door behind me.

"Ah. Never mind then," I laugh.

"Family's not here so we can chill in the living room," Connor says, leading me towards the living room.

"Whole Food's?" I ask.

"Dad's at work, Zoe and Mom are at some street fair," he explains. I sit down on the couch, and he sits down on the chair across from me. For some reason I feel like I'm back in Dr. Sherman's office.

"That's cool," I nod.

"I guess." I thought he'd be a bit more excited to see me but maybe he's just not having a good day. And that's okay. Because we'll have a whole summer of good days.

"So, I got my housing letter this morning. Well, it was an email," I start.

"Oh, shit. Um. We're probably not roommates then," Connor says, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms.

"No. I'm with some guy named Samuel. So. But at least we're going to the same school. Uh, I'm in Genesee Hall so maybe we can at least get the same hall," I suggest hopefully. I'm not too upset about it, surprisingly. College feels like another world away.

"Hopefully," he shrugs.

"You okay? You seem pretty drained," I ask. I want him to know that I'm here for him no matter what.

"I'm just not having a good day," Connor says, smiling in a way that I don't even think is meant to be genuine.

"I'm sorry." He probably just doesn't want to talk about it. That's cool. I'm okay with just talking and distracting him.

"It's fine, it's just..." he sighs. His eyes dart around mine, and his brows press together. "I don't know if I can do this," he says, waving his hands around vaguely.

"Do what?" I ask.

"Okay. I. There's something I need to do today.  That I've been thinking about for a shameful amount of time but I never had the balls to do and... I just..." Connor trails off.

"Connor." For the first time today, I listen to my paranoia. This sounds too familiar. And we've come to far- he's come too far to start thinking like this now.

"Yeah?"

"You're not gonna do something... bad, right? You're not thinking of..." I can't lose him. Especially like this.