A Fallen Angel, The Devil Redeemed

Slap Of Reality

He held the pen tightly. The piece of paper in the table had been crumpled as he held it in place.

The sound of the clock ticking made Chuck Bass impatient as he tried to think of the right words to write. He wasn't entirely sure what he was doing, writing her a letter.

So far, the paper had been empty as he found no suitable words to describe what he was feeling.

It had been months ever since they last talked to each other properly. 4? 5 months? In conclusion, he'd been in hell for a long time, not able to be with the love of his life. He couldn't even a steal a glimpse.

Although the blasts from Gossip Girl had been such a big help, he still wanted to see her in person.

The ink had run dry. The brown paper slowly torn into pieces. Without thinking, he punches the wall in front of him.

"Chuck! Stop that!" He hears his step sister's sharp voice behind him, triggering the pain in his head.

"What the hell happened?" Her eyebrows knit into a line when he doesn't face her. Stubborn, as always. "Look at me, Chuck!"

"Serena, don't waste your precious time on me." He attempts to leave but Serena doesn't allow him to. He looked miserable. She had never seen him this miserable before.

"I'm not wasting my time, I'm trying to be here for you. Don't push me away. You need my help, whether you admit it or not." As much as he hated the fact that it was true, he couldn't help but sit back down into the chair.

Serena doesn't bother to say anything. He was just looking down onto the table, feeling his heart crumble.

"I just miss h-her." His voice broke, making her close her eyes as some tears fell down from her eyes.

"Did our relationship even mean anything to her? How is it so easy for Blair to just. . . leave. I would have done anything. Anything to make her happy, she just had to pick him. She doesn't understand. I love her, Serena." He was desperate. All he really wanted was Blair.

"I know, Chuck. I know." The blonde was hurting to see Chuck in pain. He was still her step brother, and one of her best friends. She walked towards him and hugged him to try and lessen the pain he was feeling at the moment. He had to know his family was there for him. Nate, Lily, Eric. There were still people who cared.

She knew, though. Even if his family was there to give him the love he needed, it would never be enough. It would all be pointless without her.

"Blair. Are you okay? You look kind of tense." Dan Humphrey's voice interrupted her as she drowned in her thoughts.

She looked up at him, feeling nothing. The feeling of numbness. The feeling of being alone with a void in her heart.

That was what she felt whenever she'd be steps away from Dan. She often wondered what the old Blair's reaction would be if she knew she'd be associated with a person from Brooklyn. Worst of all, a Humphrey.

Disgust, probably. She was slowly feeling like a lost ghost, floating around Brooklyn. She'd become so lonely to the point where the sound of her own voice would surprise her. Blair had no one to blame, knowing this was all of her fault.

Cutting out the people she loved most in her life was something she never thought she would ever do. And for Dan? The thought was abhorrent in all of the possible ways to see.

The fact that she had no one to talk to was worse. Not her mother, not Serena and most especially not Chuck.

"I'm okay." She forced a smile at Dan. Her subconscious told her to end it right now. The old Blair needed to rise back from the ashes. She needed to feel again. She wanted to feel again. She was Blair Waldorf for God's sake.