SALLY
I opened my eyes and saw that the person wrapped around me wasn’t Zack. At first I was shocked, but then I remembered it all. I got out of his grip slowly, and got my clothes up from the floor. I put them on fast and stared at myself in the mirror. What had I done? I cheated on my boyfriend, and that with someone I wasn’t even sure I liked. I stared at the marks on my neck. I ran my fingers over them. This was horrible. I looked around me to see if it was a scarf around there, but of course it was not. I opened the door slowly and walked out. My head was hurting and I could tell I had too much last night, but still I didn’t have enough to not remember what I did. I hated the fact that I didn’t regret, but maybe I actually did? I was mad at myself for cheating, but at the same I wouldn’t go back and change what happened. My head was a mess. It hurt so much and everything was just spinning.
I walked into the kitchen and my eye caught a body with his head on the table, sleeping. His hair was so messy and his clothes were ripped and dirty. “Seems like you had fun, Alex” I said to myself as I found myself a coke. I drank it all in one sip. Nothing else than coke helped when you had a big hung over, nothing. I had my one hand planted on my neck. It was stuck there. Hiding the marks, even I knew I couldn’t have my hand there forever. What was I supposed to say? Was I going to blame it on the alcohol? Did I want to keep my relationship with Zack? Questions kept coming up in my head. In that time I just wanted to go home, just run away from everything. But I knew I couldn’t do that. I was not stupid.
I walked into the living room and looked around. There it was. The back I didn’t want to see. He stared out the window. I walked slowly against him and tried to make no noises. Even I was sure he had already noticed me. “Hey” I just simply said. I got no answer, he wasn’t even facing me. “Okay then” I said and moved to the window and stared out there too. We were standing there in silence, side by side. It wasn’t bothering me though. I liked the silence, but somehow it ate me too.
After a while I felt him looking at me. I didn’t dare to turn my head. I was scared of what would meet me. Did he know? Of course he did. If not he wouldn’t be like this. Even though I was scared and everything, I was a stone face. I kind of went into a role. Playing the old me. The rude one. I had no idea why, but I still did it. “I can’t believe it” he said short, and turned around walking against the couch. “Believe what?” I asked still facing the window. I didn’t even think before I answered. The words just ran out of me. “Are you serious?” he asked, and I felt him staring at me. I didn’t say anything. I was completely quiet. “What a bitch,” I heard him almost whispering. This was a Zack I had never seen before, ever. He was so different. I couldn’t put my finger on it. It was all so different. “How could you?” he asked, and he seemed seriously hurt. I turned around and faced his face. I swallowed and winked sometimes but I still held my stone face. I raised my eyebrow a little and looked at him. “Bloody hell, Sally!” He said and raised his voice a little. “Sorry” I said but my voice was almost asking. “That’s all you have to say?!” he continued. He seemed so hurt and so angry. Just that, made me want to scream out. “You’re cheating on your boyfriend, that have never felt something like this before, ever, with one of his closest buddies, and all you have to say is this?!” he almost shout at me. He was frustrated. I could see that. I had no idea he was serious with this. I mean, with the ‘never felt anything like this before’ thing. “I can’t believe it” he said. “I can’t believe I didn’t see who you really are before now” he added. That was it. Something just exploded inside me. “Shut up, Zack. Shut the fuck up!” I shouted. “I’ve liked Jack since the start. Thought you were able to see that! You were just coming in the way and I thought I liked you in stead!” I shout.
His face dropped to the ground. I could see the tears in his eyes. What had I just said? How could I say something like that? How? I was so horrible. “Just, just get out” he said super quiet, disappointed, angry and sad. I turned on my heels and walked out through the kitchen. A man hand grabbed my wrist and tried to hold me back. “Don’t leave me, I’ll fix this” Jack said, smiling weakly. “Sorry, Jack” I said but my voice was only a hint. I was crying inside, and I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore, I had grown too weak for that. I pulled back and went out the door. Had he heard everything? Just everything that just happened? Had he heard the words that rushed out of my mouth about liking him all the time? I wasn’t even sure if I was true with those words. I had no idea what had just happened really. Everything was just really terrifying.
I shivered. I cried. I shivered. My shoes were full of snow and I couldn’t feel my feet anymore. The hoodie I stole from Jack didn’t warm me up either. I was freezing the death out of me, but I didn’t stop walking. I knew Jack didn’t mind that I stole his jacket. I even thought he put it in front of the door on purpose.
My feet kept moving even the rest of my body wanted to stop. I had to get out of this town; I had to get myself to a warm place, where I could sleep. I thought about hotels and motels and everything around, but then again I thought about me having no money at all. My head was spinning. As I walked around alone thinking where to sleep I suddenly started to think about Jesus. I felt like sort of a Jesus where I was walking, looking for a place to sleep. Don’t even ask why I thought about it. I wasn’t even Christian.
Two bright lights hit my eyes, and in that very moment I felt like I had never been happier. I started run. I couldn’t feel my feet but I just ran. I had to reach those lights. I really had to. I so fucking needed it. The warmth hit me as the doors of the thing with the lights opened. I stepped in and the doors closed again. “Where are you going?” the man asked. He was pretty bad mood. I could see that. I was not that lucky with him. “Um.. I.. I” I started, trying to figure out a excuse why I couldn’t pay. “I’ll pay for her,” someone suddenly said, and a creature stood up from his seat and went to me. I looked at the person but a hood covered the head and it was impossible to see anything of the face. Some other people stared and they seemed pretty shocked by my ungrateful stone face. As I got the ticket I followed the person and sat down in some seats behind. “What are you doing, Sal?” he said. “Not even thanking?” he added.
