SALLY
Charlie looked happy. It was just like the last few times we had been with Jack. She seemed so happy. It was like she just accepted everything. Even when she sat on her grandma’s lap. “Look Granny” she said and held up a piece of paper with a drawing on. “Very pretty, sweetie” she said and smiled. She had the same eyes as Frank. Same colour and same shape. It was almost impossible to look at them. I just imagined Frank standing in front of me. The same with his dad. His dad had exactly same smile, and his face was the same shape as Frank’s. “Charlotte? Don’t you wanna come with Grandpa and go outside for a while?” Helen said and looked at her husband. “Um, yeah.. Let’s go outside for a while” he said and reached out for Charlotte’s hand.
I kept sitting on the kitchen chair and looked out the window, watching Charlotte go outside with her grandpa. “Sweetie” Helen said and sat down on the other side of the kitchen table. I looked at her. I was afraid she was going to start a deep conversation with me, I never knew what to say when she came with those deep conversations. “I can see you’re sad,” she said. I looked at her. “It’s been quite a while,” she said and took a cup of coffee. I took a sip of mine and swallowed the pain. I hated talking about this. “Is it really still that bad for you?” she asked. I looked at her and wondered what the fuck she was saying. She was his mom. How could she sit there and ask if it’s still bad? “Don’t misunderstand me, honey,” she continued. “It’s hard for everyone. He was a good boy,” she said. “Why didn’t he live with you?” I interrupted. I wanted to know that. I had always wondered why he lived in the teenager house when he had perfect parents. She took a deep breath. “When I was younger I was dumb and naïve,” she started. “I couldn’t raise him. No one in my family could. So I gave him to my dear friend mr. Ralph. He promised me that he was going to say nice things about us, and tell him about us. So he wouldn’t hate us. And that was what he did. Later on we started meet him again, and as the nice boy he was.. He never said anything mean to us.. and we even celebrated Christmas together sometimes..” she said. She was almost in tears while telling me. She didn’t tell in details, but it was enough. I could imagine how hard it was for her to say.
“But back to my point” she said and the tone in her voice changed a bit. “After all this time, I dare to think that it’s because of Charlie, that you’re still sad” she said and finished her cup of coffee. “What are you saying?” I hissed a little. “Shh, don’t misunderstand me!” she said again. “I know you loved him, we all did. But I just mean, that after all this time.. People would’ve come further with their life. And so would you, if you didn’t think about Charlie losing her dad.” she said. How could she sit there and say something like that? “You think that Charlotte miss to have a dad, and you think a kid should have both parents to grow up with” she continued. “But actually, that’s just in your mind. Dare to live your life, sweetie. I’m sure Charlotte is over the worst.. And she’s a strong girl, just like her mom” she ended and started taking the dishes.
I looked out the window again. Watching Charlotte running around, smiling and laughing, which was the best I could see. It was just like she was when Jack was with us. Or like now with her grandpa. “What with this dude, Jack?” she suddenly said. I turned my head to face her. “What?” I exclaimed. “He seems to have a good influence on Charlie,” she said. What the fuck was she saying? How did she know about Jack? “He’s my best friend” I said quiet. “He’s helping me trough..” I started but got cut off. “Dare to live your life” she shortly said. “What?” I repeated. “No one blames you for anything of the stuff that happened. No one will ever do. The only thing they ever will, is hoping that you’ll start living your life again.” She explained and turned back to the dishes. “What?” I said again, but this time I almost whispered. I understood nothing. It was all so confusing.
