Meant To Be (Loki x reader)

Chapter seventy eight - Anger

You could hardly remember the journey back to Midgard. The next thing you remembered was that you were sat on a bed in a bedroom in the Avengers compound that was now apparently 'yours', alone, trying to process the fact that you couldn't get Loki back.

The gaping chasm in your chest was getting wider by the minute, threatening to engulf you entirely. Then Thor was there, sat by your side. The silence stretched painfully on and on, until finally he spoke.

"The Asgardians that made it out, before... well, they landed in a place called 'Norway', I don't know if you've heard of it."

You nodded, not taking your eyes from a piece of very intriguing fluff that was on the carpet, knowing exactly where this conversation was headed.

"I'm going there. You should come with me." Thor said, his voice full of emotion. You didn't reply for a moment, thinking.

"You're just leaving?" you finally asked. Grief had changed your voice; you sounded hollow.

"There's no reason for us to stay here." Thor replied sadly. You nodded slowly.

"I'm not giving up."

"Y/N-"

"No, I can't. I can't." you told Thor, looking up at him fiercely as your voice broke. You didn't want to lose him too. Thor sighed and put his arm around you.

"We tried Y/N. There's nothing else to do..."

"I refuse to believe that. There's magic, and Tony is the cleverest person on the planet, and there must be, there has to be a way-" you trailed off as you realised first how stupid and desperate you sounded, and second that Thor was this close to crying; he was holding it back for your sake.

After a few more minutes of silence Thor squeezed your shoulder and stood up.

"I'll stay for a week, okay?" he said, turning to look at you before he got to the door. You nodded. He wanted to give you time to change your mind. Then you were alone again.

Next in was Nat. She came and sat next to you as Thor had, reached for your hand, and then froze when she saw the ring on your finger. She hadn't seen it before. You heard her horrified, sympathetic thoughts and closed your eyes, biting your tongue to feel something, anything. The metallic taste of blood filled your mouth.

"Y/N- I'm so sorry."

"Thor's leaving." you said.

"He- he needs to be with his people. He is king."

But I don't want him to go.

Thinking felt meaningless. There was no one to hear your thoughts, no one to look up and smirk at you, or raise an eyebrow, or think back. Is this what it had been like before? Just sending your thoughts out into the abyss, not worrying about what happened to them after they left your mind?

Even when you'd shut your mind off from Loki there had still been someone there, on the other side of the wall, waiting. Now there was no one. Nothing.

Empty space.

"Hey. We're not giving up, okay?" Nat said to you firmly, gripping your arm. That was much more like what you wanted to hear. You nodded.

"Now, no offence, but I think you should go take a hot shower, eat and then try and get some sleep." she continued, watching you. She was so worried about you.

"I will." you told her.

"Now?"

"Yes."

"Go on then."