Meant To Be (Loki x reader)

Chapter fifty four - In which you die

A night passed, as nights tend to do.

Then a day followed, and another night.

And another. And another. And another.

Twelve times over you counted another day and night where you heard nothing from Loki.

Worry and guilt made you sick. You didn't eat, hardly slept and barely spoke. Dark circles appeared under your eyes. This, obviously, did not get past any of the team. Especially Tony.

A week into this new regime of no self-care, he sat you down and talked to you.

"Kid, listen to me, I know I'm not one to talk, but you can't go on like this. I won't watch you do this to yourself."

"Then don't watch." you said, a flicker of a smile appearing on your face.

Tony sighed and put a hand on your arm.

"He's gonna be alright kid. They both will."

You set your jaw and nodded with more conviction than you felt.

You would know if something was wrong. You would know if something was wrong. You would know...

The twelfth day dawned slowly. That night hadn't been a good one; what little sleep you had managed to get had been disrupted by nightmares so horrible that you'd given up trying to go to sleep all together at around two o' clock in the morning.

It was a surprisingly nice morning for November, a bright sunrise giving way to a crisp, pale blue sky. You started your morning wrapped in a blanket on the roof, watching New York drag itself to a start as the sun came up. Crystals of ice glistened in the weak morning sunlight, gradually melting into tiny puddles as it rose further and further into the sky. It was so very quiet.

You found it hard not to feel at peace, despite the constant worry which had inhabited your entire being for the last twelve days. Closing your eyes, you inhaled the cool morning air and counted yourself lucky to be alive in this exact moment.

All of a sudden, the Quinjet rumbled to life on the other side of the roof, breaking you out of your trance and causing you to look up sharply. For a moment you were confused, and then you realised: there must be a mission.

You swiftly stood and teleported downstairs, where sure enough the team were hurrying around, half asleep and in various states of being geared up.

"Mission?" you asked Steve.

"...yes, but-" he faltered, casting around for Tony, you assumed. His thoughts were loud. He didn't think you should come on the mission, having been so upset about Loki and Thor leaving. He thought it might make you reckless.

"Steve. I'm okay." you told him, reaching for his arm and maintaining eye contact. You even managed a small smile. Steve's eyes searched your face for a few moments, and then he nodded, wordlessly moving past you to the roof.

The smile vanishing from your face, you teleported to your room and got geared up in about thirty seconds, grabbing the silver bracelet Tony had given you for Christmas and jamming it on your wrist as you teleported back up to the roof.

It was another eight and a half minutes before you took off. And another three before something went horribly wrong.

Tony was debriefing you about the mission when all of a sudden the Quinjet tilted dramatically to one side, throwing Tony (who had been stood in the middle of the jet while the rest of you sat) to one side. You all grabbed on to the handles behind your heads and stared at each other in confusion. There was barely time to speak, let alone work out what had happened, before a loud crunching noise emitted from one side of the jet, and then one of the engines died.