Mind over Matter

Chapter Five: How To Save A Life

Meredith let out a little gasp as she heard the monitor flatline.

They say that when disaster happens, people react in one of two ways; they either dive headfirst into the situation, or they run away from it. It's called the fight or flight response.

Meredith pulled her hands out of Richard's chest and glanced across from her, watching the waves on the monitor disappear into a persistent horizontal line. Time froze, and it suddenly felt like she, Richard, and Derek were the only ones in the operating room. 

Everything and everyone seemed to be moving in slow motion.

All her life she had been running away, every time something happened Meredith fled the scene. When her father left her and her mother, Meredith went up to her room and hid out as Ellis decided to break everything in sight downstairs. When her mother died, she spent months running from it, using alcohol, drugs, and sex. On her 24th birthday, when the man she loved had proposed to her, she panicked and never said another thing as she ran to Europe. All her life, when life threw something terrifying her way, the only thing she knew how to do was run.

She glanced over at Derek, as he was already looking at her. They locked gazes and she could see the reassurance and confidence in his indigo blue irises. She took a minute to dwell in his look and tried to ground herself back into reality again. 

This situation required quick thinking and action and a clear mind, and of course, those were the few things she didn't possess at the moment. She took a few deep breaths and forced herself to come to her senses. She had to do something, and she had to do it fast. Richard wasn't going to die today, not on her watch. 

Derek gave her a reassuring nod which gave her the last push to take action. She turned her eyes away from Derek's. 

"Code Blue! Give me the internal paddles!" she said as everyone started to put 110% effort into saving Richard Webber. A scrub nurse quickly handed her the paddles and Meredith stuck them into Richard's chest cavity, putting both on either side of his heart. 

"Charge to 200!" she commanded and waited for the sound that indicated that the device had charged up. She yelled "Clear!" and shocked Richard's heart once. 

No change.

"Charge to 300!" she said as she felt the overwhelming built-up anxiety take its toll on her. "Clear!" she yelled again and shocked his heart a second time. 

Still no change. 

She felt her chest tighten as everything around her became blurry. The last thing she felt was someone's muscular arm catching her before her body had hit the ground. 

Derek clutched her tight and immediately went to check her pulse. It was beating steadily and her breathing was even too.

"I need a gurney right now!!" he yelled at the rest of the people in the OR, as they stared in shock as the lead-surgeon remained in his arm, lifelessly. 

He handed her softly over to a resident and took over the paddles that a scrub nurse was holding momentarily.

"Charge to 360!!" he yelled and shocked Richard's heart again. 

Still no change. 

It was becoming more and more of a dire situation, Richard's heart had stopped for four minutes already. Until all of a sudden, he heard a small set of beeps on the machine. He glanced over and saw Richard's heartbeat slowly going up. He was steady again. 

Derek sighed greatly in relief and shifted his attention towards Meredith, who had been moved onto a gurney. He walked over to her and stroked her hair softly, checking her pupils. They were responsive and she appeared to be stable.