better and better🙂

part 4

Y/N POV
i woke up at 6am today. i've just been starring at the ceiling. bolt gave me a hard time last night so he slept in bed with me, he's actually going with my mom for a week tomorrow. she told me that whenever i need a vacation or just need a break she will take him for however long i need. which i was really thankful for, after a bit i snapped out of my thoughts to a knock on the door. all the sway boys came in the my room dressed for the funereal "um you got to get dressed" blake said "okay well then get out" i joked and they all laughed

eva: we're all ready should we come now?

y/n: umm i kinda got lost in my thoughts and am getting bolt and i situated, but you could go i'm pretty sure my moms there.

eva: y/n are you okay?

y/n: yeah i'm fine

i knew she texted me something else but i ignored it and showered. we didn't even get bolt a haircut like i wanted to yesterday, fuck. oh well. i put bolt and i all together and walked downstairs. "OH SHITTT" "LOOK AT Y/N" "PIMP" i heard the boys hype me up "are you guys ready" i said after giggling. they got up and started walking to the door and i followed. we got in the car "so in my puerto rican culture we do like a ceremony/remembrance thing for the person that passed. there's food,music, spanish girl, wait nevermind i don't want yall to hook up with my cousins. but if you'd like to come you guys can, i won't be mad if-" i was cut off "i'm coming" they all said in sync "that's what she said" i joked and we all laughed. we pull up to the place and it starts to hit me. i get bolt out of his car seat and he lays on my shoulder. i kinda want to stall, i don't really want to go in there. i was cut off by noah wrapping his arms around me after bryce took bolt. they leaded me inside and i immediately started crying when i seen the casket. "fuck" i whispered to myself "it's okay you got this" noah says to me. i quickly walk up and do a fast prayer, not even 30 seconds long. then i get to the bathroom and splash cold water on my face. i haven't even said anything to my family members. i hear a knock on the door and eva is standing there, she quickly wraps me in her embrace and i melt. i have to stay strong fuck. i let go and we walked back into the room together. i start to hug my family members and they say 'you look good nena' or 'i'm sorry i know he meant a lot to you' like stupid stuff. i cant deal with this right now. bryce still had bolt and i asked him multiple times if he wanted me to take him and he said no. we did the prayers and now it was time to carry out his casket. i had sunglasses in my pocket so i put them on and made sure bolt was with my mom since we needed the boys. "alright lift" noah said and we all lifted and walked out. tears started to fall out of my eyes and i didn't even know it. we got him in the limo thing and i got bolt from my mom. "nena it's okay to not be okay" she said "i'm fine mom, i'm just tired" i said and she didn't believe me. all of my friends kept checking up on me but i'm fine. we got to the cemetery and i kinda stayed back, my mom brought bolt to go up front and sit. anna came up to me and wrapped her arms around my waist, so i put my chin on her head since i'm way taller than her. they put him down in the ground so i let go of anna and bent over to the flowers and threw one in after kissing it. i then grabbed bolt and walked to the car, i didn't even say anything to anyone. i was sitting in the car with bolt when my door opened, eva was there and she just hugged me. i felt myself start to cry and finally let go. she kissed my forehead a bunch of times which made me smile, "i knew you weren't okay you fucker" she said and i giggled "i'm fine now thank you" i said and wiped my eyes and nose.
EVA POV
i'm worried about y/n i know she claims she's okay but she hasn't been able to grieve because of bolt taking her time up. her mom told me she's taking bolt for a week, she wants to try and keep him for more so y/n really has a break. i think it's a good idea more so because y/n hasn't been getting a lot of sleep i bet. i don't know why but when anna and her were hugging i couldn't help but to feel jealous. i know it's stupid but i just couldn't help it, and dev noticed because she whispered for me to "stop glaring at anna" which i didn't even know i was doing. so when i hugged her in the car i made sure to kiss her forehead, i felt her smile and it made me smile. "are you guys coming to the 'party' after this" she asked me "yeah your mom told us about it" i told her and she nodded. "y/n i love you" i said "i love you too evan" she replied and messed around with bolt. little did she know that was me actually confessing my love for her, that was a bad way because we always used to exchange "i love you" when we were friends before conner. i still feel bad about that, but i was doing it because i felt like i couldn't commit to conner fully when i felt a certain way about y/n. she'll never know tho because she doesn't like me like that. "are you ready to go" bryce asks y/n and she nodded. i left to go to the car with anna and dev. "i love her" i blurted right when i got to the car. "YESS WAHOOO" dev and anna shouted ,i'm excited for the party thing i feel like it will be cool and great energy.