The Single Greatest Monologue Ever Spoken

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Skeeter tried his best to be nice. He tried to smile and play the part. He really did try to bite his tongue, but he couldn't help it anymore. This was the last straw. Skeeter knew he had to speak out against injustice and fight for what's right! Skeeter would have to break down the walls of oppression, and build a bridge to a better tomorrow! Skeeter would have to stand his own ground and be a voice for the voiceless! Skeeter knew it would be dangerous, but he knew he had to do what's right! Skeeter would have to break up Charlotte and Dustin, so that Charlotte and Caleb could fall in love!

  Skeeter, Caleb, Charlotte, and Dustin were gathered on Mr. Johnson's farm gasping for air after they had chased a pig around for half an hour. You see, Mr. Johnson was Charlotte's dad, and he hired Skeeter and Caleb as farm hands. Charlotte always helped them out though. On a normal day, the three of them were able to get their farm work done within two hours with no problems whatsoever. Today, however was not a normal day. Dustin, Charlotte's punk boyfriend, had gone to check on the pigs, and somehow one got loose. What followed was half an hour of chasing said pig around trying to get it back in the pen. Fortunately, they managed to get the pig back in the pen. Unfortunately, Dustin, a.k.a The Plague, refused to accept any responsibility for what happened.

"It was a mistake," he kept saying, "It could happen to anyone."

Charlotte kept telling Dustin that it was okay, but Skeeter wasn't letting pretty boy get off so easily.  Skeeter said to Dustin, "Sure it was a mistake. Just like Pearl Harbor was a mistake." 

"Skeeter!" Charlotte shrieked. She gave him a look that was begging him to be quiet, but Skeeter ignored it.

"You've got a problem with me?" Dustin asked angrily.

Skeeter walked right up to Dustin and got in his face. Skeeter then growled at him, "Yeah I do have a problem with you. My problem is you're an idiot who can't keep a dadgum pig in it's dadgum pen!" 

Tension filled the air as Dustin and Skeeter stared each other down. They looked at each other with such anger and hatred that no one dared to speak. Eventually, Skeeter began to walk away shoving Dustin lightly as he did.

"Next time, try to stay out of the way," Skeeter grumbled, southern accent thicker than usual.

Skeeter began to turn his back to Charlotte and Dustin when he heard Dustin say,"You know something farm boy, if it wasn't for your attitude your dad might still be around."

Silence. Complete and utter silence fell over them. Skeeter's dad was far more than a sore subject for him. His dad had run away when Skeeter was ten. After years of treating his mother like garbage, he had run away with another woman. He just left them without a single word or a single penny. It forced Skeeter's mom to take care of six kids by herself.  It forced Skeeter and his mom to move to Pennsylvania from Texas in order to get a job. It forced them to live in a trailer park trying to get from one bill to the next. Skeeter slowly turned around to see complete looks of horror on both Caleb and Charlotte's faces. They both knew that Dustin had gone too far.

Skeeter stood there for a moment, clenching and unclenching his jaw. Finally, he stood on top of the fence of the pig pen and yelled, "Alright, that's it! I've got something to say!" 

"Skeeter what are you doing?" Charlotte asked with worry dripping in her voice.

Skeeter answered her, "What I should have done a long time ago, girly."

He looked over at Caleb, trying to warn him about what Skeeter was about to do.
Caleb seemed to get the message because he started yelling, "Skeeter, no! Don't say anything!" "

"I'm sorry," Skeeter said to his right hand man, "But I've bit my tongue for so long, I've finally managed to bite through it." 

Charlotte gave them both a confused look before asking,"Skeeter, what are you talking about?" 

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