Fair warning: This story is wacky as hell. My friends and I created these characters once with the purpose of creating the weirdest characters ever, and well...this is what we came up with. This is some pretty absurdist humor, so if you like that kind of thing, this is the right story for you. Read at your own discretion, and please enjoy.
Bunky was spending his Tuesday just like he spent every other day of his life: Watching the Real Housewives of Orange County while eating ice cream with chips. It wasn't necessarily the healthiest meal on the planet, but it made him happy. As he stretched out across his couch and stared down at his one foot, he contemplated whether or not he wanted to play Minecraft. On the one hand, he was almost done building a really awesome treehouse in minecraft and he really wanted to see it finished. But on the other hand, his laptop was on the other end of the room, and he really didn't feel like hoping all the way over there to get it. So he settled for curling up further into the couch, and watching housewives drag each other by the weaves.
Days like this were always Bunky's favorites. He could just relax on the couch, eat all his favorite foods, stay in his spongebob underpants, and watch some quality television. He didn't have to worry about actually putting close on to go to the dollar store for groceries or picking up his unemployment check from the government. He could just be peaceful.
Of course, the universe had to punish Bunky and interrupt his peacefulness. A few minutes later, the hinges of the old rickety door creaked to reveal his little sister, Bonnie, coming home from school. Bunky turned his head slightly to nod at Bonnie before turning back to the TV.
Bonnie, use to her brother's lazy tactics, stood in front of the TV and crossed her arms over her chest. She knew good and well this was the only way to start a conversation with her brother.
Bunky lazily threw some chips at Bonnie and mumbled, "You're blocking my view."
Bonnie simply raised an eyebrow at Bunky, indicating that she wasn't going to move until her and her brother had a conversation.
Sighing, Bunky grabbed the remote and paused the Real Housewives episode. He flashed Bonnie a fake smile and said in a overly sweet voice, "My darling little sister of mine, how was your day?"
Rolling her eyes, Bonnie moved her hands to say in sign language, I got an A on my theology test.
Bunky shook his head, "I never understood how you do well in that class. You're not even Catholic. I failed that class when I was a sophomore."
That's because you're a useless bum, Bonnie signed to her brother.
Bunky and Bonnie were both Buddhists, but only Bonnie practiced the religion. Bunky, on the other hand, worshiped "villagers" and often referred to them as "the gods of Minecraft". Bonnie never understood her brother's strange believes, but over time she learned it wasn't worth arguing with him about.
Bunky, who understood American Sign Language perfectly well, glared at his little sister. After learning that Bonnie was mute, he had gone through the process of learning American sign language in order to understand his sister. But since Bonnie could still hear he never bothered to actually use it.
Instead of responding to Bonnie's comment, Bunky simply asked "How's Jaquiqe doing?"
Bonnie physically shuttered at the mention of the old man who lived outside their house. She wasn't afraid of Jaquiqe by any means, she just really hated him. She complained that his long grey beard was the most disgusting thing she's ever seen, and that he reeked of cigarettes and dead fish. Bunky, however was quite fond of the homeless man.
