In my first life, I was a simple colonist living in Pennsylvania. I went by the name of Benjamin Matthews. I lived a quiet existence with my wife, Margaret. For the most part, I was a happy man. I had a fair amount of land, a steady job as a tailor, and a beautiful wife. But, I still had this feeling deep down in the pit of my stomach. It was a feeling of longing for something...more. I wasn't exactly sure what that more was, but I knew I needed it. It wasn't long after I discovered that longing, that the American Revolution came to a forefront. The war with the British was just around the corner, and they were recruiting any man with two legs and decent eye sight. That's when I realized what that longing was for. I was meant to fight in the revolution. I was meant to help free America. It wasn't long before I kissed my wife goodbye, with the promise that I would returned to her.
That was a promise I never got to keep.
I was on the battlefield. Looking back, I can't remember what battle it was. It could've been Harrisburg or Bunker Hill or even Yorktown. The memories are so fuzzy to me I can no longer remember the details. All I remember is the sharp pain in my back, my knees going out from under me, my prayers that Margaret will be okay, me fading into darkness...
Fading...
Fading...
Fading...
In my second life, I was a young boy known simply as Danny. I'm still not sure how I came back or why I did. I just woke up one day in a completely new life with all my memories from the previous one.
My second life was much different than my first one. Benjamin had a safe house, and loving family, and a steady job. Danny, on the other hand, didn't have any of those luxuries. He had no family, lived in a crowded lodging house with thirty other young boys, and survived only by selling newspapers. It was not a pleasant life at first, but I eventually grew use to it.
There was one similarity between this simple life as a newsboy and my old life as a tailor. The longing feeling. Besides my memories, the longing was the only thing that I kept from my old life. I wasn't sure why it followed me into this life. My best guess is that it was because the longing wasn't fulfilled in my first life. The Revolution, while successful, didn't satisfy my desire for more. Since I didn't fulfill it in my first life, I had to fulfill it in my new life. Though, it was beyond my reasoning how a simple newspaper boy could satisfy a longing that rested deep inside my soul.
That's when the strike started.
Pulitzer, the owner of the newspaper the other newsboys and I sold, raised the price of papers. While this wasn't a big deal to most people, this was basically a death sentence to the other newsboys and I. The raise in price meant we'd have to sell twice as many papers just to earn the same amount of money we always do. We could barely sell the original amount we papers we bought. How could we possibly sell twice as many?
That's when we decided to rise up. The upper class wasn't going to walk all over us anymore. We were going to take a stand. We weren't sure where to start at first, but then we remembered the trolley strike that had been in the papers the past few weeks. If the trolley workers could it, we could do it too. It wasn't long before we tipped over the delivery wagon and began the strike.
The strike was beyond exciting. It was the thrill of the revolution mixed with the wonderful youthful energy who only experience in childhood. The difference between the strike and the revolution was that I lived to see the end of the strike.
One week later, Pulitzer returned his papers to the original price. We did it. The penniless kids had managed to conquer the New York City kingmakers. We won.
We won.
Despite the satisfaction of winning the strike, the longing was still there. I was certain that after we won the strike, I would lose the constant longing that a found a spot in my heart. I didn't though, it was still with me every second of the day.
Nevertheless, I was excited to see what my life would turn into after the strike. If I could win the strike, I could anything! I could earn enough money to make my way out of the lodging house. I could go to school. I could open my own tailoring business. Maybe I could even find love again. This could be the chance to fulfill the longing.
But the possibilities were taken from me a few short months later.
The winter after the strike, pneumonia struck the lodging house like the plague. Many of the newsboys fell, and I was one of them. I was bedridden for a week, unable to stand without getting a splitting headache. The other boys tried their best to ease my pain, but I turned all their help down. I didn't want to infect them.
By the end of the week, I was reduced to a shivering lump in my bed. I was so tired. My body felt completely drained of energy. I fought to keep my eyes open, but they eventually slipped shut. I felt myself drifting away once again....
Fading...
Fading...
Fading...
I am now in my third life. My name is Dr. Drew Gerald. I live in the year 3065. The aliens, the others, are slowly approaching earth. Before they arrived, they sent the outbreak. Millions or innocent people, transformed into hideous mutations right before our eyes. My team and I have developed a cure for the outbreak. It is now our job to distribute it to as many people as we can. We run through the streets, adrenaline pumping through our veins, trying desperately to stop the outbreak before the others arrive. I try my best to focus on the mission at hand, but there is a constant distraction deep inside me.
The longing feeling is more prominent than ever, and I can find no way to appease it. Across three lives, the longing, the need for something greater has followed me. Despite all my adventures, I am still not satisfied. Many days I wonder if I will ever find satisfaction. Maybe it's just part of our nature. Maybe humans are born with a longing that it is impossible to get rid of. We look for satisfaction in anywhere possible, put never truly find it. We search for something that isn't there. We want something we can never have. We long for the impossibility of satisfaction, something we can never get. It's just what humans do. Feel longing and search for satisfaction. We always have longing, but we can never have satisfaction.
