Servamp: Of broken bonds and sorrows

8- Objectives

Niccolo's legs quivered. His breathing was erratic and his long bangs were sticking to his face. Running certainly wasn't a hobby of his, and his burning lungs were a painful reminder. He gasped, searching for support on the brick wall. Surely, even he could go a little farther. Just enough so he could tell he was fully out of reach. If his chronic anxiety allowed it, then he could- could what? Ildio- no, World End, he reminded himself, had been more than compliant, he was obviously not going to follow him. And what could he do without the family? Without Cappuccino?

'Alright, calm down. Breathe in. Breathe out. Count two seconds. Breathe in. Breathe out.'

Even Cappuccino alone couldn't stay with him. He wouldn't be spared. These guys were his responsibility.

'I can do this. The other eves are younger than me, and they pull through. I have to move forward, even if it costs me the most valuable.'

He tucked his hair behind his ear. His hands were still trembling, but at least he could stand and walk. Theoretically. The looming fear was ubiquitous, and he remained frozen in place for a solid five minutes, debating on where to go.
'No matter where, whatever I do, from now on, there will always be a risk that disastrous consequences ensue. I have to choose a place the guys won't search me in. But where... could that be?'

It was a dead end already. Niccolo sat against that same wall and gazed at the clouded sky aimlessly. If he had died that day, would his friends have been safe? Of course not, they were mafiosos. No one was ever safe in the profession. But there was a high chance they'd still be in Italia, had he not become their boss. He began shaking harder, his culpability a heavy weight on his chest. It wasn't his first panick attack, for sure. They were quite frequent, even. But rare were the ones he had to deal with all by himself.

Thud, thud. He often imagined shapes and noises when they occured, too.

"Niccolo-san?"

But never had he heard this voice in his delirium.

"I...zuna?" His voice came out shaky, as well. The look he gave her was one of frightful uncertainty, while hers was, strangely so, full of relief.
"I'm glad... You looked so spaced out. I don't think I could have handled it if you had lost consciousness in front of me. I... was completely at a loss until I found you, you know?"
"You were... Searching for me? Why?"

Niccolo seemed genuinely confused, and incredulous. As though it was a shocking thought, that someone would worry about him. It stirred at Izuna's chest.
"Well, I've been wandering aimlessly for a while, too. I needed to take some time for myself... To clear my head and snap out of it. I thought my heart would implode several times along the way, and I had to believe it was the same for all of us. So I came in your area. The others would know where to meet in case of emergency, but I couldn't be sure about you. Your phone is dead, isn't it?"
"I- I didn't even check my messages... But it seems it is. Anyways... thank you for coming, but you should go... well..."
The girl had a nostalgic expression. "None of us can go home, right? That's why, let's both head to C3 headquarters. The others will be there."
Niccolo took the hand she was presenting him, and he trembled again, but this time, it was accompanied by tears. "I'm sorry... Breaking like that in front of you, even though I should show the way and help you out instead..."
Izuna shook her head, but droplets were soon falling from her own eyes. "There is no need to be sorry... We have to compensate for each other's weaknesses. That's what being a team is about."

Grinning, the pink haired subclass hurried back to his leader, eager to tell him what he had just discovered. Those sure were precious information, and white it changed their plan drastically, he was assured to please him with them. He landed on top of a building, jumping excitedly as Tsubaki himself was throwing him a questioning look.