Incorrect Quotes that actually happened

Part 5

Me: Life is trash and I'm dead inside

My mom: *hands me a bowl of Maggi*

Me: I take it back. Life is perfect, and I forgive all those that I mentally insulted

Note- I said forgive, not apologize. You deserved it.

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Me: Whatcha doing- Never mind I really don't care

Sister: *offended*

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Favorite cousin: Great minds google alike

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Me: *practicing the piano and then makes one mistake*

Sister: See this is why you need to practice!

Me: *resisting the urge to throw her out the window* What do you think I'm doing? Training for the ballet?

BFF: *raiding our kitchen* POTTAH

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(watching Tintin in America)

Tintin: Snowy's been kidnapped!

Me: But how? The dog's literally the only smart character

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BFF after I pranked her: I hate you

Me: I mean, same, but that is completely irrelevant to this conversation

BFF: Yo dude you good?

Me: *laughing weirdly* Yeah I'm fine, I'm just going to leave now because this got awkward

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Me: I am 90 pounds of skin and bone

Me: I am only 5 feet tall

Me: I can't even move my left arm right now!

Me: Yet I am still stronger then you

BFF: Okay we get it, you are stronger then an UBS charger because you put it in right the first time

Me: I will never shut up about this

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Me: TO ALL THOSE IDIOTS THAT THINK THAT LAVA WOULD BE SPICY, LAVA IS MOLTEN EARTH SO IT WOULD BE BLAND AND DUSTY

Friend: How does her scientific knowledge go from this *points to the extremely accurate atomic model of Krypton I made* to this?????

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Friend: *after letting me punch him* And people say that women aren't violent!

Me: Oh no, I'm not a woman.

BFF: Exactly. She's a gremlin

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Me: High 4.999 repeating!

Math friend: High square root of 25!

Friend: Why am I friends with you nerds?

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BFF: *watching me do the Cotton Eye Joes dance for 40 minutes straight non-stop and not be tired*

BFF: Were you injected with sugar or something? if so where can I get it?

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Friend: *looking at memes* When your food is hot do you blow on it or do you just hasafasha until you can chew it?

Friend: Hasafasha. I am not a cowered

Older sibling friend: Blow on it since I'm the only one with a brain here

BFF: I blow on it but I underestimate the heat of my food so I end up hasafashaing anyway

Me: Neither. I just eat it.

BFF: She not lying. She straight up doesn't react. It's really creepy, but also kinda impressing.