Parents thinking I'm responsible: *Leaves me home alone*
Me: *proceeds to almost blow up the microwave as soon as they leave*
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BFF: You have to communicate with your sister more
Me: We communicate!
BFF: Blackmailing each other for candy isn't communicating
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Me: *rushes into room disheveled*
BFF: What happened
Me: Uh, Simran pushed me down the stairs
Sister walking in laughing: Lies, she sunk to low on her chair and couldn't get off without falling. I recorded it
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Me: I just learned how to play poker
BFF: School literally just let out for summer what
Me: School was the only thing in my life that kept me organized and I don't know what to do with myself so I learned poker
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Me: STOPPED BRIBING ME WITH CANDY
Sister: It is working?
Me: DUH
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Me: Let's be honest. Maturity is like my middle name... I don't have it
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Me and my Dad: *complicate handshake*
Me and my Sister: *awkwardly nods at each others existence*
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Me/BFF: We're here too be gay and do crime
Friend: What
Me: She's a disaster lesbian and I've already committed a crime so we can both die now
Friend: What
Sister: She accidently shoplifted a 2$ magnet when she was four
Me: I was referring to the time you and I stole a traffic cone and a broken street sign but yeah that works
BFF: Or the abandoned build exploration
Friend: WHAT
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BFF: It's getting really windy and I think it might rain, we should leave *begins walking away from the park*
Me who weighs as much as an empty water bottle and was left on the swings: *incoherent screeching as I am being throw around by the wind*
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BFF: If you make one more joke I will hit you
Me: don't you mean you'll pun-ch me?
BFF:
Me running for my life: I regret nothing
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BFF: Which way did Simran go?
Me: Well, based on the direction of the wind, the broken sticks in the corner, and the slight disturbance in the dirt, I'd guess they went left
BFF: You could really figure it out from that?
Me: No you idiot, she texted me
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Sister: How long can you keep them distracted?
Me: I once spent an hour talking about the tops of ketchup bottle. You have enough time.
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(Texting)
Me: GOOD MORNING!!!!
Me: Do you think devils have a hierarchy?
Friend: TANVI I SWEAR TO GOD NOT AGAIN
YOU ARE READING
Incorrect Quotes that actually happened
De TodoJust random things that I, or someone else around have said making no sense but it's hilarious
