Incorrect Quotes that actually happened

Part 9

Me: I am like a frog

Friend: *waiting for context*

Me: *waiting for her to react*

Other friend: Are we going to tell them that neither will talk until the other does?

BFF: Absolutely Not

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Mom: Did you find the Windex?

Me: I wasn't even looking

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Dad: How did you even lift that?

Me: I AM NOT THAT WEAK

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BFF after I texted the group chat at 2 AM: Sleep. For once in your life sleep

Friend: I don't think she knows what that word means

Me: Hypocrites

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Dad: *on a call*

(in the background*

BFF: WHO DRINKS GATORADE OUT OF MUG

Me: YOU TRY THINKING STRAGHIT AFTER LOSING A PINT OF BLOOD ON A MONDAY

Sister: She has a point there

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Adult: What is was favorite part of third grade?

Me: Watching my friend accidentally eat an entire spoonful of wasabi.

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Me: Do you think that mosquitoes dare their friends to bite someone with bug spray on?

Sister: No, because mosquitoes don't have the mind to be able to communicate in such complex ways

Me : Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were the world's top mosquito expert

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BFF: Good morning

Me: Bold of you to assume it's a good morning

Sister: Bad morning then

Me: Thank you

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Me: You are welcome to my birthday party at 3:00 PM today

Me ten seconds later: Wait what the- my birthday's in August

Dad: I think you were momentarily possessed by a ghost, we should go to their birthday party

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Me waking up: Christmas spelled backwards is D-A-W-U-B-U-A right?

Dad: You want to sleep for another ten minutes maybe?

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Person that I wasn't paying attention to: What are you, 12?

Me instantly: Yeah on a scale from one to ten!

Me after realizing what they were asking: Wait no yeah I'm actually 12 years old

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