IN MY DREAMS [A POE DAMERON X READER STORY] [BOOKS 1-3]

chapter seven

You could sense him within the privacy of his living quarters. Your knuckles knocked against the door once before it slid open. 

He was sitting on the edge of his bed, facing away from the door. You froze as you saw a glimpse of dark hair for a brief moment before his helmet slipped all the way on and locked in place with a quiet sound. It was the first time you'd ever seen a part of him beneath the mask. He was suddenly more human than he had been last you'd seen him. 

"Where have you been?"

"Looking for you." The lie slipped out of your lips with ease and you regretted it at once. He was smarter than a lie. He was always looking beyond what you said, in your actions and your feelings. You tried to remain perfectly still. 

The door slid shut behind you and suddenly you were very afraid. You were alone with him now, remembering only your last encounter with the man you trusted more than anyone else.

You cleared your throat. "You weren't there when I woke up. I thought you would be waiting to see me."

"You needed rest. Besides, I figured you wouldn't want to see me." He turned his head ever so slightly. "Didn't I make you angry?"

"More like you frightened me. You've never... you've never spoken to me like that before."

A moment of silence passed. The only sound was that of your beating heart. "You're still afraid of me. Don't try to lie to me. I can feel that you are. You see me as a monster now. A monster that frightens you."

There was no hiding from Kylo. You gulped quietly as he stood up off his bed and turned towards you.

"Yes, I am afraid," you whispered. "In all of my years with you, you've never treated me like that."

"You'd never given me a reason to before," he said. It was that easy for him. You deserved it. You deserved to be scared and he was glad to have affected you like that. It would prevent you from stepping out of line again. "You need to learn your place."

"My place?" you whispered. Your body stiffened as you spoke and you wanted so badly to argue, but you deflated. He wouldn't hear of anything from you and you knew it. You dropped your head. "Yes, Master. Forgive me."

"There is no reason for you to look for anything else other than this," he said. "Stop holding onto anything except for this. I am all that you have and all that you need. Your future here is brighter than it would've been anywhere else. I have given you a purpose and a chance. With your power, you will soon be unstoppable. I know you know that."

"Yes. I know." His hands fell on your shoulders and you shut your eyes. "Will you forgive me?"

"Of course. I'm more than just your teacher. I'm your friend. If there are visions tormenting you, tell me about them. We'll work on them."

"Thank you."

His hands fell away. "Go back to your quarters and rest. Your training resumes in the morning."

"Yes, Master."

You avoided looking at him as you turned and walked out. Your mind was blocked by walls that you built up higher and higher as your boots tapped against the floor, the black cloak fluttering behind you. You wondered if he would become suspicious of you, but you didn't want to dwell on the thought so much and let it slip through the cracks.

You walked back to the cell with a plan in mind: you would quickly take him to the escape pods located on the west side of the base. After stealing a pair of binders, you would walk him straight there. So long as you avoided General Hux or Kylo Ren, you should be fine.