IN MY DREAMS [A POE DAMERON X READER STORY] [BOOKS 1-3]

chapter four

As your back glided across the floor and your hands flew up to your face protectively, the air grew hot. The sounds of explosions surrounded you, the heat of the fire shocked you, and the quickness of the attack threatened to paralyze you. But the fear twisted into the memories of your time at the First Order made you move quickly. You sat up, head spinning, and flipped over to look at Poe.

The relief that he was conscious and uninjured was incredible. You moved him on his back, half holding him in your arms. "Poe, are you all right?!"

"Yeah," he gasped, pained eyes focused on the flames ahead. All of his friends. His entire squadron. Everyone was dead. They couldn't be helped --- but you could. He looked over you, panicked, his hands moving down your arms as he sat up weakly. "Are you?" 

"I'm fine," you assured him.

He swallowed hard. "We need to get out of range of those Star Destroyers." 

"Yes," you agreed. "We---" 

All at once, something shifted inside of you. The atmosphere was different. You were cold even though you were too close to flames and you were terrified for a reason other than the explosions. Turning your head to the side, you knew that he was sensing you just as you sensed him. It was his shot that nearly killed you and Poe.

A wrinkle formed between Poe's brows. "What is it?"

I'll kill them all. Everyone you've ever cared about. Your mother. The pilot. I'll kill them.

"No," you whispered. You got up on your feet and turned on your heels, staring at the end of the corridor. Poe scrambled up onto his feet and as you started running, he followed, yelling your name. It fell on deaf ears as you began to scream words that you knew could be heard outside of the ship. "Ben, no! Don't do this! Please!" 

You could sense the conflict in him. It allowed him to hesitate just enough to let you get there. You were right in front of the blast doors and they were wide open and you could almost see his teary eyes. He didn't pull the trigger, but he didn't order anyone to stand down, and you watched as a second explosion was fired at someone that meant everything to you.  The blast doors shut tightly and your body collided with them and your soul was ripped out of you as your mother was sucked into the vastness of space.

You faintly felt Poe's hands on your shoulders, pulling you away from the danger. You collapsed against him and he held up all of your weight as you felt her grow further and further away from you.

"Mama," you wailed. Just as your father was torn from you, your mother was torn from you. You knew your heart would never heal from this. Your brother had completely broken your family. Your brother, evil and heartless, seeking to break you in every possible way. He had finally done it. "No!"

"I've got you," Poe was whispering. Again and again, he whispered it. His lips were right by your ear but you could hardly hear him through your sobs. Your legs were too weak to stand and he was practically dragging you to the viewport, where you could see her body among the fragments. "It's okay, hey. Hey. Look at me."

You did, and he cupped your face. Tears were streaking down his dirty cheeks and you knew that he was hurting for you and with you. He put his forehead against yours and you finally slid to your knees, hands limp at your sides, eyes closing against the flood of hot tears.

The sound was sudden but soft. It was your name. Your eyes opened slightly and you knew that it wasn't your brother reaching for you, but your mother. Alive and trying to get your attention.

"Mama," you breathed. You turned away and Poe's hands fell away. He raced after you once again as you sprinted towards the blast doors the Force was guiding her too. Poe ran out in front of you and as the doors pulled open, he caught her unconscious body and carried her back into the ship.

You reached for her and screamed. "Poe---?"

"I think she's alive," he tried to assure you. 

The medics were surrounding her, pulling her away from his arms to lay her down. They attached tubes to her nose and mouth and you were struggling to keep next to her side, gripping her ice cold hand tight. 

"Move! Out of the way, everybody! Give room!" Poe shouted. Only he and you were allowed next to the General, each of you holding one of her hands as you ran to keep up with the medical droids. 

"Her life signs are weak but she's fighting," one of the medics announced.

"Keep fighting, Mama," you whispered. "I'm right here."

The medical wing wasn't too far away. She was taken behind doors you couldn't pass, where they would change her in private and work on her however they could. Your hand felt empty where hers used to be. You stared after her, standing up on your tiptoes to catch one final glimpse of her. Your mother, your hero, your family.

"She'll be alright." Poe was behind you again, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you against his chest. His lips pressed to your hairline and you clutched his arm tightly as you shook and sobbed. "Everything will be okay, princess. I promise."

You nodded. "I hate him. He's a monster. He was going to --- he nearly... I almost lost you. He targeted you and he targeted her just like he said he would. And now I might lose my mother because he wants to punish me for leaving."

"I know," he whispered. 

"Leaving the First Order put you in more danger," you said. "What was I thinking?" 

"We both know that me and your mom would rather have you here than there." He gripped you tighter, protectively. "He won't get away with this. Not forever. Sooner or later, we'll catch up to him and the Order. They'll be destroyed just as they were when they were the Empire."

"Yes," you whispered. Your eyes were unforgiving as you stared ahead, not seeing anything in particular, but sensing your brother's soul as it was torn in two. "Yes. He will be."