IN MY DREAMS [A POE DAMERON X READER STORY] [BOOKS 1-3]

chapter one

For the first time in a long time, you looked like a Solo. Dressed in baggy olive green pants, a long sleeved black shirt, and brown boots that matched the brown scarf hanging around your neck, you honestly looked more Resistance than First Order. It was strange.

Your hair was in a simple braid that went down the middle of your back. Looking at your reflection, you tried to match it with the same girl you remembered looking at the perfectly clean mirror in your quarters back on base; the mirror that showed a girl with long, flowing hair, wild eyes, and ebony robes. A girl that matched the brother she did not know.

That girl was gone. She was destroyed by betrayal after betrayal. Your hatred for Kylo Ren seemed to grow with every passing second. He had killed your father, lied to you about where you came from, and kept an entire lifetime secret from you. Last you saw him, he threatened to kill Poe and your mother. Whether that was a way to bring you back to him or punish you, you weren't sure.

The door opened and you glanced up at the reflection of your mother as she stepped in with a smile.

"Good morning," she said. As the door shut behind C-3PO, who walked in after her, she gestured to the tray in his hands. "I thought you might like to eat breakfast with me."

"Thank you, Mama," you said.

C-3PO brought the tray to the tiny dining table in the corner of the room. It was a tight squeeze for two people to live in. Luckily for your mother, you hadn't exactly brought luggage with you to Yavin 4. You shared the same bed and bathroom for now, but the two of you did not mind. You'd spent what felt like a lifetime apart.

"Thank you for bringing that in for me, Threepio," Leia said.

"You are most welcome, General," he said. "Now if you will excuse me---"

"Meet me back in my office in an hour, Threepio," she said. "I'll need your help preparing the next mission."

"Of course, General. In one hour exactly!" He left the room and as the door shut, your mother started to empty out the tray. She poured the milk in the cups and in the bowls of oatmeal, stirring it with sugar until it became a greyish mush. "I was hoping you'd be up earlier so you could come to the briefing with me. Or maybe just follow me around, see what your mother's been up to all of this time."

You were staring at your reflection again.

"Well, come on," she said, pulling out your chair for you. "Your food's getting cold --- oh. What's that look for? I know that look well."

She crossed the few feet of space between you and her. Her hands touched your upper arms. She leaned in and rested her head on the dip of your shoulder. "You're worried. I can tell. I've seen that look on myself far too many times not to know what it means. What are you so worried about, pretty girl?"

"Mom," you scoffed, smiling.

"What? You are beautiful," she said. "If what you're worried about is what the others may think, hear my advice to you. There are things much stronger than blood. Being the sister of Kylo Ren is no different than me being the daughter of Darth Vader. I didn't let that define me. He couldn't define me. Don't let your brother define you."

"Everything that he has done... everything that I have done... Mother, I wear it on my face. Everyone can see it. They know. They remember."

She shook her head. "No, you listen to me. There will be people that only see what you've done. But there will be others that see you. Those are the ones that you should listen to. This is your fresh start. Your new life. Perk up, starlight."

Slowly, you were starting to understand who you were. Beyond what Kylo Ren forced into your mind, beyond what you'd lost. You were your mother's daughter. You were a Solo and an Organa. And every time Poe looked at you across the room, you were reminded of who you really were. You were your own person. He saw the good in you.