My Dear Melancholy (Daveed Diggs x reader)

Depression

WARNING:
as someone who suffered and is still effected by chronic depression i would like to leave a lil note. i'm going to be talking about depression in this chapter, there will also be mentions of weight loss, hinting at suicide, intruding thoughts. i want to be completely transparent with all of you, if there is something that triggers you and you think it would trigger others, please please please let me know. depression and mental health issues are a bitch and i want to make this story enjoyable. i love you all.

-rambo <3

you were just in your bed, and you've been there for... who knows how long.

you never really realized you were depressed until the subtle hints were shoved in your face.

plates and half drank cups of water filled your bedside so your lamp was now on the floor, those plates were old because getting up to eat was way too hard to do.

your sheets were dirty, your pillow cases had an orange tinge to them. your oily skin, drool, and dirt stained it. but not tears.

why haven't i cried yet?

crying would take too much effort, you didn't have the emotional capacity to do that, mourning became harder everyday. it was just so much easier to give up and feel nothing.

diggy: good morning sunshine
8:02am

diggy: hey hon, going to cvs, you need anything?
8:38am

diggy: just tripped in the middle of the store and now people are looking at me
8:56am

diggy: want me to drop off lunch?
12:46pm

diggy: you haven't been responding for a couple days, i hope you haven't been kidnapped
1:34pm

diggy: baby?
1:35pm

diggy: (y/n)
1:35pm

diggy: just let me know if you're alive.
1:36pm

it would have been so easy to respond, but you saw the text light up your phone every time. your hands didn't have enough power to move, even holding your phone was hard, so it was dropped to the floor.

you were on your side, your back to the inside of the bed. it was how your normally slept, you were originally facing the inside but when you wanted water you stopped and just stayed there now.

you smelled, deodorant was in the your bathroom and walking just made you feel more tired. you haven't peed in who knows how long, your stomach was hurting. you were still in your pyjamas, a large shirt and some shorts.

footsteps echoed through your house, the sound was now deemed unfamiliar to you. daveed was here, he walked right in to see you.

"oh..." he breathed, you could see from your peripheral vision he was in shock. he thinks you're a slob. "honey, what's happening?" he walked to the side of the bed and crouched to your eye level. you noticed his eyes were glossy, "what is going on?" he gently cupped your face.

touch was also unfamiliar, you had kept the façade of being okay for a while but it slipped through your fingers. daveed was under the impression you were only slightly upset.

his hand was warm, you hadn't felt warmth in a while. your blinds were closed so you only got the edge of the blind showing sunshine. sunshine, i'm not that anymore...

"nothin'." you mange to mutter, you haven't talked in while. unless you were trying to talk to your dad late at night when you slept all day and you were up then.