Papillon

Chapter 20: Tulips

Francis

Mama wanted some fresh air. Warmer days were coming to an end and I didn't know how many more Saturdays I would be able to spend with her if I did go off to some college out of New York. Wrapping her into a warm sweater–even though it was fall in New York which meant it was at least 70 degrees out every evening–we took a bus to the heart of the city and walked around. Mama loved it here because it was busy and there were people everywhere. She liked how lively it was, watching people run around and go through their days

"I cannot believe we really live here," she said, her fragile hand curled around my forearm.

"You always wanted to go to New York, Mama," I replied, watching her carefully.

"And now, because of you, je suis là, bijou," Mama said. I am here.

"Anything for you."

It was the fucking truth. Anything for her.

We moved to America for her, for me. A new life. Away from abuse and terrible pasts. Away from a broken home to one that was just her and me, trying to get through every single day. One day, I would make sure Mama had everything she ever wanted. One day, we wouldn't ration food and we would be able to eat the finest produce. One day, she wouldn't have to think twice about buying anything. One day, she wouldn't have to be scared anymore.

One day, she'd be happy.

I would make fucking sure of it.

"Did you see the news?" She asked softly.

Every bone in my body tensed. Of course, I'd seen it.

I had alerts on for everything related to my sperm donor so I could always keep track of what he was doing and whose life he was ruining now.

Besides, Anthony Hale called me twenty seconds after it broke on the news and assured me that we were still safe and had nothing to worry about.

For now, I'd responded.

Forever, if I can help it, he'd said back.

"We're not going back," I said firmly. "It's not happening."

Mama sighed dejectedly. I hated that.

I didn't want her to think that this life in America was just going to end for us. Like it was a ticking time bomb that was bound to explode, no matter how hard I tried to stop it with sheer willpower and hope.

Her eyes fell on a fancy florist's booming store as we walked by, and the longing in them was clear. There was a fresh display of tulips on display at the front, now that it was fall and they were in full bloom. Mama's favorite flowers in the entire world. Damon knew that and would send tulips for the next couple months as long as they were in season with her medications but the way she looked at these flowers, like something she could chose, tugged at me. Mama averted her eyes quickly and tugged me along, but my heart burned. I knew whatever I had in my wallet wouldn't be enough. Luckily, there was an ATM a block back.

The decision was quick.

"Wait here, Mama. Pick one out that you like, d'accord?"

Protests followed me both from her and annoyed New Yorkers as I charged around the block and across the street to the ATM, hoping I had enough money for flowers. I hid a grimace when I saw my bank balance and I hesitated momentarily before hitting Withdraw.

Shoving the bills into my wallet, I headed back but right before I turned the corner, I froze in my fucking tracks and took a step back. My pulse roared in my ears, my fingers, and every other part of my body that I was too shocked to name. I rested my back against the corner of the wall, the florist just a couple inches away.