Papillon

Chapter 15: I Need You

Francis

There were so many other guys Bella could have chosen to delve into a frenemies with benefits arrangement with. People at school literally came up to her, holding their dicks out for her to accept. Bella was the kind of girl who could have a police lineup to choose from.

And despite that, she was with me. She acted like she hated me all the fucking time and then when we were alone, all the soft, kind, pink pureness came out from her. The duality of her personality used to confuse the fuck out of me; but then I understood that it was just her letting her guard down.

Bella listened to no one. She did whatever the fuck she wanted. But around me, she listened. Whether it was blind trust or something else, it made me feel good and I did my best not to abuse that power. But now, she wanted me to go over to her place. That was an advancement. For weeks, I was perfectly content making out with her and making her come with my fingers and mouth. Making her happy–just to see that pliable look on her face was enough for me because it fed into the false hope that perhaps I was taming her.

Now, though, she'd seen me–held me in her hand and let me finish all over her chest. The look in her eyes when she licked every drop of come off her body was ingrained in my mind forever. I wanted to replay it over and over again. I did replay it over and over again–in the fucking showers, in bed, every chance I got.

I wanted to bury myself inside her and fuck her again and again and again until she was out of my system. Because Bella Ryder festered like an incessant thing floating around in my goddamn head all the fucking time. She wasn't someone I could just fuck and move on. Mainly because we hadn't even gotten to that point yet.

This arrangement was going to come to an end. I knew that and so did she. But the thought of someone else touching her after me, someone else putting their hands on the body that molded with mine so perfectly was all wrong. It made me crazy and clouded my vision so much I didn't know what the hell to do with myself.

Bella: Come by at 7!

It was Friday and according to Bella, her parents usually left on Friday early afternoons and came back on Sunday evenings. The exclamation mark seemed a little gratuitous, but whatever.

One 57 was not a place for people like me. It was located on Billionaire's Row, a part of New York I squarely stayed away from. Telling Mama I was sleeping over at Christian's was easy enough–she liked when I went out. Even though I spent most nights at home, she loved Damon and Christian so much that she would trust them no matter what.

I didn't know why I told her I was sleeping over when in reality, I'd probably end up at home. I hated the idea that it was possibly wishful thinking. I wasn't planning on staying the night but a small part of me wanted to. To hold her and smell the coconut scent of her hair all around me.

Bella would move on, she'd find someone new–someone better for her than me but me? I knew if I touched Bella, it would be over for me. I wouldn't ever find someone else who made me go fucking crazy just thinking about her and all her pink. The rare sugary sweet smile and the sparkling blues would never leave me.

I knocked on her door at 6:30 PM and she opened it after the longest twenty-four seconds of my life, looking all flushed and disgustingly adorable. Despite the initial shock, there was a huge smile on her face and my chest constricted a little just seeing it–for me. Clad in blue and white floral shorts with a white tank top, she looked casual and relaxed–not the preppy princess she always was around the world. Her hair was down, in perfect curls as always, light makeup on her face.

"You're early," she said accusingly.

"Yeah, I... uh." How poetic.

"You were nervous?" She crossed her arms, leaning on the doorframe.