Papillon

Chapter 33: Special

Bella

"Why have you never kissed anyone but me?"

Francis went still as his entire body tensed below me. I was lying on his chest, both hands folded under my chin, just staring at his face.

"I don't mean to pry," I apologized and quickly looked away, trying to ignore the pain in my chest.

Letting out a slow breath, he cupped my face in his hands and turned my face back to him. A thumb skimmed across my cheek as I stared into his greens. Just looking into his eyes felt so overwhelming sometimes, it brought on the urge to cry.

"When I was younger, I didn't live in a good house," he said quietly.

Every single inch of me froze. I couldn't believe he was actually telling me about his past. He never told me about his past.

"Mama was my best friend. And I depended on her. As I got older, she depended on me even more. You're a smart girl, Isabella Marie. You know how I got all these scars on my chest. Everything that makes me damaged material."

"It doesn't—"

He pressed a finger to my lips and shook his head quietly. As much as I wanted to tell him that he was wrong, I didn't want to interrupt him because I was afraid he'd stop talking if I did.

"I won't bore you by telling you the cliché abusive father story. But, I will tell you about my Mama, d'accord?"

I nodded, smiling.

"Mama, just like you, is a rom-com addict, Isabella. God, she can't get enough of them," he chuckled. "Maybe it's because her life wasn't at all like that. She didn't grow up rich, but she did grow up happy. Two sisters who loved her more than anything. She was truly happy, Isabella Marie. The kind that you see in the movies.

"When Mama met—" Hesitation and anger flared in his eyes. I pushed my cheek further into his palm and he exhaled a deep breath. "When Mama met my sperm donor, she was only sixteen. And because of circumstances, she ended up having to marry him and was forced to live her life with him forever."

Hot tears stung my eyes and fell slowly as I listened to him. It was painful, and my heart bled with true grief at everything him and his mother had to go through.

Francis continued, slowly brushing tears off my face as new ones rushed to take their place.

"Mama hadn't had her first kiss at that point. She told me she was waiting for it to be special," he smiled wistfully. "Unfortunately, Mama never got a chance to find that person. Because at sixteen years old, her life had pretty much been ruined forever. She had me soon after, and then she lived a life no one should ever have to live."

"I'm sorry, Francis. But you know your Mama loves you. Even when I didn't know she was your Mama, all she could talk about was how much she loved her beautiful son. The one who'd do anything for her."

"I know, papillon. But having me was the worst thing that could happen to her. Just trust me on that, okay?"

I didn't agree but I didn't disagree either.

He pressed his eyes closed for a moment before opening them again. "He took a lot from her. He took her freedom, her virtue, her life. He took everything and more. But Mama always fought back. She never wavered. The only reason why she stayed submissive to him for so long was because she was afraid of what he'd to do me. And believe me, Bella, he was capable of doing horrible, horrible things."

I believed it. I was lying right on top of all the evidence of his father's utter maliciousness.

"The one thing Mama has never, ever done is kiss him. Never in private when he took advantage of her, not once in public when he forced her to show up to things, not even on their sham wedding. She absolutely refused to give him her first kiss."