Living Without A Heart

Sleepwalking

"Ready or not here I come!" Alice murmered. She was dreaming and calling out in her sleep.

"Charlie, where are you?"

"Charlie mama can't find you, the game is over darling. Charlie? Charlie!"

In her sleep, Alice began walking around the lodge shouting out to her son. Constant screams of his name grew louder and louder each filled with more fear than the last.

"What the hell!?" Gladys exclaimed waking up.

"Ali!"

Gladys looked at FP in pain. Just from that single word she could hear the fear in his voice, like the world was ending. His world was ending and that was Alice. She knew he'd never feel that way about anyone else... 

"Ali, what's going on?" FP ran out of his bedroom. When he saw Alice, she was shouting. He couldn't quite understand what she was saying because she was so distressed.

"Charlie! mamma can't find you! Please!" 

FP figured she must have ran into something because she had blood on her pyjamas and blood dribbling down her arms.

"Hal! Hal, Alice she's going crazy she need you!"

"She's just sleepwalking- she'll pass out eventually."

"No wonder she doesn't love you- you don't care!"

Alice ran out of the door, she ran, she cried, she begged and pleaded looking for her baby boy.

"Charlie! I need you to come back- I need to find you."

FP ran outside into the cold night air. Chasing after the young woman. He caught her, holding her by the hips to still her.

"Ali you need to wake up. It's FP, darling you gotta wake up!"

"FP? I'm scared! I can't find Charles! FP I lost Charlie! I can't..."

FP held her face in her hands and wiped away the tears. He was choking up seeing how hurt she was. Physically the cuts were only small but mentally she was destroyed, the pain she was in was unnatural. 

"Charlie...find..." she didn't finish her sentence because she went faint in his arms, her knees buckled and her eyes closed.

Gladys ran towards them with a blanket and a first aid kit. She hated Alice, that was not to be mistaken but right now, she needed the support and she wasn't getting it from her fiancé.

"I'm gonna sit out here with her until she wakes up- she needs air and space."

"Okay- are you okay?"

"I've just never seen anyone in so much pain and then have no recollection of it..."

"How do you know she has no recollection?"

"She told me earlier that she woke up on her kitchen floor shaking, sweating, crying and she had cut her hand but she didn't know what happened and yet again Hal was sleeping!"

Gladys paused a moment, before turning away. "...Good night FP..." 

FP just manouvered Alice to put the plasters on her arms and then wrap the soft blanket around her unconcious form. He held her on his lap, her head resting on his chest arms wrapped around her protectively. Slender fingers ran through her soft hair and he kissed her forehead and cheeks; they were salty from the tears and sweat.

Thousands of stars glimmered over them as they sat in the short grass beside the lake. The moonlight shone on the still water. He'd often seen the moon when he got the chance to look in the girl's eyes. Lately they had become dull. Void of life, love, happiness, and hope. Whatever happened and who ever Charlie was- affected Alice more than she let on and she thought he'd hate her for it but he could kind of see why she feared she'd hate herself.

Stirring awake, Alice made a series of grunting noises and was panicking until she looked into FP's chocolate brown eyes.

"FP? What's going on? Why are we out here and where is the blood on my top from? What happened?"

"Just try and calm down okay?"

"Okay-"

"You were sleepwalking, you were running around looking for someone. You were really scared that you couldn't find him."

"Him?" she questioned bewildered.

"Yeah, you kept shouting 'Charlie, mamma can't find you...' Who's Charlie?- and why are you in so much pain?"

"Please! please don't ask questions FP! I can't... FP..." she panicked.

"Shh, it's okay- I won't ask, I won't ask... do you remember anything?"

"No, last thing I remember was talking to you... Oh no, no, no! Gladys and Hal- what are they going to think!?"

"Hey, no don't worry. Gladys isn't judging you. She could truly see your pain. As for Hal, he appears to have been dealing with these episodes for a while."

"Why didn't he tell me?"

"Probably didn't feel the need to bring it up if you didn't remember."

"I suppose...thank you."

"What for Al?"

"Looking after me, caring about me..."

"You never have to thank me- I've said it before but it's true."

"I'll never forgive him FP..."

"I know you won't- I have no idea what happened but I know you won't forgive him."

Alice winced in pain as she shifted, still sitting with her legs over FP's lap.

"You okay?"

"My side is stinging a bit that's all..."

"May I?" he hesitated.

Alice just nodded her head and lifted her top to reveal a cut stretching from the front of her round the side of her ribs.

"You must have caught yourself on something when you were running." He took an anti-septic wipe from the first aid kit again and grazed it over the cut. Alice flinched slightly at the coldness of his hands.

"Sorry..." he whispered.

"Don't say sorry... you never have to say you're sorry to me..." she whispered back.

"Should we go back inside?" she breathed "You must be exhausted..."

"We can sleep here... no need to face the music just yet."

So the two snuggled into each other. Alice's head resting on FP's chest, his arms holding her close. The blanket was now wrapped around them both and they fell asleep beneath the stars.

*****

Blinding sunlight fell over the pair as they stretched awake. They were still cuddling from the night before.

"Uh, whose idea was it to sleep on the floor!"

"I said, should we go back inside and you said no!" she chuckled.

"Yeah well, I'm glad!"

"We should face the music now though,"

"I guess we should." he agreed squeezing her hand.