Living Without A Heart

"What's changed then?"

Four weeks ago, FP and Alice had to break-up and that is exactly what she did. Alice had spent the last weeks completely alone. She didn't talk to anyone at school, she sat alone to eat her lunch, cried throughout the night and when she did sleep still dreamed about FP holding their baby and them staying up late to sit in the garden beneath the stars. 

FP was struggling too but he was in the serpents now, they kept his mind off of Alice and gave him something else to replace her with. He still missed her but he had accepted it.

It was lunch time and everyone was sat eating, as usual Alice was sat alone. She had become a new person lately- still unsure whether this was for better or for worse. She wore cropped blazers instead of her serpent jacket, short skirts instead of skinny jeans, scarcely wore black. After their break-up she left the serpents, her job, her friends, and her family. Today something different happened. A girl with short red hair and freckles dusted over her face came over to her. 

"Hi Alice, it's been a really long time since we spoke but I see you alone everyday and you look extremely sad" the girl said "may I sit?"

"Erm... sure Mary, sorry it's been so long."

"Don't worry! are you okay? you look extremely exhausted-no offense."

"I've not been sleeping very well." she answered plainly.

"So, what has changed then? with you I mean- I'm completely the same" Mary laughed.

"I'm currently living in an underground bunker, working at Pop's and constantly feel as though I'm going to be sick!" she said with mock happiness.

"Okay, two questions: do you need to see a doctor? and why on Earth are you living in an underground bunker?"

"No, no I know what's wrong with and I left the serpents and my parents didn't like that. I already knew it but they said it was a betrayal beyond forgiving- they allowed me to take my clothes and £100 and my wages to get myself a room at the Five Seasons for a night and told me to never come back so yeah!" she rambled, a lone tear escaped down her face which she swatted away.

"Oh Alice, I'm so sorry- you'll come and stay with us, my parents won't mind one bit!" she ordered. 

"Thanks Mary but I like the bunker, it's quiet, there is no trouble there, also I don't have to pay any bills!" she said with a small smile.

For the next two weeks Alice and Mary became very close friends, which was why Mary became so worried when Alice didn't show up for school until eleven o'clock. "Where have you been!? I was worried something had happened to you! Are you okay?" She asked half angry, half concerned. Alice closed her eyes and recalled the last few hours.

She was sat alone in the hospital. Around her were other women, some had toddlers playing around their legs. Others sat with their partners- one hand on their stomach the other holding their partner's hand (all in love and happy). "Miss Alice Smith?" The nurse called.

Lying down on the bed she raised her top in order for the nurse to put gel on her stomach. Turning the moniter around, the nurse said "you have one very healthy baby growing inside of you Alice, you're doing very well." Alice simply burst into tears when she saw the picture of the ultra-sound. 

"Alice is there anyone I can call? the father, your parents, a friend? 

"No, no one knows I'm pregnant- they'll make me get rid of it and I want to keep it," she sobbed.

"Alice, no one can force you to get an abortion or put your child up for adoption- it is your decision." she explained "you won't be alone during your pregnancy- i'll be with you but if there is anyone else you can confide in- please, please do." 

They booked Alice in for her twenty week scan and she gave Alice a scan photograph photo.

"Sorry, I had an appointment. I guess it just slipped my mind but I'm fine- don't worry!" 

"Oh right, as long as you are okay,"

A boy in a bulldog jacket healed towards the two girls and said "Hey Alice, how would you like to get a milkshake with me at Pop's after school?"

"Oh! I'm not so sure-"

"What? say yes! go on Alice, you gotta let loose at some point," Mary whispered.

"Oh fine! Hal! you're paying..." she shouted to him, she felt guilty - she didn't want to hurt FP. Alice knew they didn't stand a chance in hell but her heart belonged to FP along with her mind, it was only her body she could give freely because it was so disconected from herself.

"It's a date then! I'll meet you at your locker." he shouted back.