Living Without A Heart

The Same Yet Different

"Mrs Cooper?"

Expressionless eyes blinked upwards at the gentle voice calling out to her.

"I need you to talk to me... It's a one off session unless you want more but you will have to keep coming until you have opened up to me."

"How far back do you want me to go?" she sighed.

"The beginning,"

"Alice smith grew up on the Southside. She had one friend, he was always there for her. Her mother drank and did drugs but she loved her daughter I guess, her father loved her (she was always his little girl) but they weren't married and her mum cheated on her boyfriend with her dad (which is how I'm here), so we got a lot of stick for that but the serpents were always good to us... Alice Smith was working at the Whyte Wyrm at 14 for 2 years but she got pregnant with her best friend and he didn't know. We broke up after a month and she got a new boyfriend with the hopes of keeping her baby if we had a 'stable home' but he ripped her baby boy from her arms..." Alice ranted before continuing "...I was in love with my best friend until he left me waiting for 8 hours at a motel to leave my husband and his wife but found out she was pregnant so yeah! My son turned up at my house a few weeks ago (he's fifteen now) but I turned him away and now I'll never see him again. I hate the person I used to love the most and I despise my husband... I was stupid and naïve thinking I could trust anyone but myself. I ruined my own life." 

"Okay, lets unpack that-"

"Lets not. I've got stuff to do. Bye!" Alice cut her off and walked towards the door.

"Alice," she called "I want you to talk to me about this. Your family is worried and your friends are worried. If you don't want to do it for yourself, do it for your girls and your husband, your friends..."

"My husband is only worried about his image. He's stopped caring about me and started thinking about keeping up appearances when we were 19 - we're 31 now."

"Please, sit down..."

Alice did as she was asked with a huff "That girl was strong and independent, she didn't take anyone's rubbish. Everyone respected her and the serpents treated her like royalty... it was like I was their daughter and they loved me... She always loved so deeply and even after being with Hal for 6 years and having a 2 year old with one on the way I loved my best friend. The thing is, my heart was growing colder and colder the longer I was with Hal and I stopped loving but every time I was with FP I loved more than ever! FP hurt Alice Smith, he killed her... but only because I gave him the power to do so... All I have left is a cavity where my heart should be, frozen blood, and a vendetta..." she vented without even showing a glimpse of an emotion on her face.

"Alice, you lost so bad that you began referring to yourself in the third person... I think you're more lost than you realise."

"I have my daughters, they are the reason I keep fighting to go on. Without them, I have absolutely nothing..."

"Do you miss the old you? Alice Smith as oppose to Alice Cooper?"

"It doesn't matter. There is no point talking about it, I've changed. Alice Smith is long dead..."

"Alice-"

"I have to go..."

Eight years later, nothing had changed and yet everything had changed. The kids were sophomores and Mary had moved to Chicago. Polly Cooper was 17 years old now and she and Jason Blossom had been together. The Cooper/Blossom family rivalry was a long standing feud, which made it difficult for them to be together.

Alice and Hal hated the fact that they were dating and tried to break them up. The Blossoms were more successful at breaking them up but when Polly told her parents she was pregnant and fury took a hold of Alice and she raged at her teenaged daughter. She regretted what she had said but she was making all the same mistakes Alice made when she was younger (Polly was just a year older than Alice was with Charles.) Alice and Hal sent Polly away to the Sisters of Quiet mercy without Betty's knowledge.