Living Without A Heart

"Are You Happy?"

It had been a long stressful week. Alice and Hal had argued everyday without fail, cups and plates had been smashed, and tears had been shed. She hadn't seen Gladys since the hen night thankfully but she and FP were still coming to the wedding- you'd think she would have got the hint by now! Mary had taken Alice to the Five Seasons as 'it's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding day.' It's also bad luck when the bride and groom hate each others guts but who cares about technicalities?

"Rise and shine Miss Smith! You've got to give the performance of a lifetime today." Mary blustered.

"Ugh no! If I oversleep will I still have to get married."

"Maybe it won't be as bad as you think. You know they say, forgiveness is the strongest medicine..." She offered.

"Arsenic is pretty strong too..." she muttered.

"Alice!"

"Even if I was to forgive him- which I won't! I will just be 'healing' Hal; I still don't love him or even like him for that matter!"

"This isn't about punishing Hal is it?"

"What do you mean?"

"This was about punishing you wasn't it!? Punishment for trusting Hal (like you've made your bed so lie in it.) Your punishing youself because you had baby Charles taken from you but that was beyond your control!"

"It doesn't matter now does it..? I've spent everyday looking for my little boy... damnit I've had the nurse who did my first scan trying to track him down with zero success! He's gone and now I'm stuck with Hal."

"In time Alice, you'll be happy- maybe not with Hal but the babies you plan on having will be your saviours and you'll get the chance to be the mother you want to be."

"...come on... we better get ready." She advised avoiding what Mary had said.

So Mary got ready and then helped Alice into her wedding dress. Mary curled Alice's hair more since it was already curly and pinned it up. Alice applied her own make up; champagne eyeshadow and scarlet red lipstick.

"Girl you're gonna blow them all away!"

*****

An hour later, Alice was sat in the bridal room next door to where she was going to sell her soul. Mary had gone to find Hermione and Sierra leaving Alice staring at a blank wall by herself.

*knock,knock,knock*

"Yeah?" She croaked as the door slowly opened, revealing a handsome, brown-eyed man hesitating to come in. He was wearing a blue suit, no tie, and his top buttons undone.

"FP!?" She uttered stunned.

FP stood speechless, swallowing the lump forming in his throat until finally he managed to string together a sentence.

"You look...wow...Ali you look stunning..."

Blushing like a poppy she replied "Thank you FP- not too bad yourself, last time I saw you in a suit was senior prom."

"I know it's bad look to see a  bride in her dress before the ceremony..."

"I could take my dress of if it would make you feel better- you'd have to give me a hand though." She said cheekily to which FP caughed and spluttered "I wish it was bad luck for you to see me in my dress..."

"What do you mean?"

"It's only unlucky for the groom to see the bride in her dress."

"Oh..." He blinked taking out a hip flask from his blazer pocket. He took a large gulp and then offered some to Alice, who smiled slightly before revealing her own.

"Great minds think a like..." He observed.

"Maybe we just both didn't want today to happen..."

"No doubt about it."

"I don't wanna marry him FP..."

"You don't have to! You can run away! I'll run away with you!"

"No we can't! I can't leave Hal because of his precious reputation; he even said he'd kill me before I besmirched his rep. I'm not afraid of Hal but he is petty- he'll take it out on my family and my friends! Besides, you have the serpents and you friends and Andrew's Construction!"

"I don't care about that I care about you!"

"Jones, as much as it kills me to admit Gladys is right, they're all right!"

"Right about what?"

"That I suffocate everyone to the point where they leave me! Look at my parents and Hal is only with me to prevent his reputation becoming tainted. It's all about his reputation and I couldn't careless about it!"

"That's not true Ali! I love you, the serpents still love you even though you left. Your parents love you but they are hurting. Mary, Hermione, Sierra, and Fred are all here to support you. Alice please don't listen to people who are jealous of you."

"It's so lonely FP." she whispered "I barely talk to anyone other than for work, Mary is always away at law school and I have no one else because we aren't allowed to talk! I mean the fight with Gladys last week was the most fun I've had in years!"

"Yeah, Gladys told me about that... I'm sorry."

"I'm not- like I said it was fun!"

"You're a crazy badass Alice Smith- never change."

"I think I already have..."

"Your heart's not changed." He offered.

"I don't have a heart anymore- It's gone... I feel so cold FP. I only feel alive when I'm with you. I know that sounds corny and dramatic but I'm serious."

"I believe you Ali, I believe you. One day there might be shift, things might change and you'll be free."

"FP, do you love her?" She insisted.

"What?" He questioned, caught off guard.

"Do you love her?" She repeated quietly.

"Honestly? No but I think if I gave her the chance I could but Alice I loved you when I was 12 and we'd play out around the southside and set fire to dumpsters and I love you now and I'll still love you as I draw my last breath."

"I think you should give her a chance..." She uttered.

"Why are you saying this?"

"I want you to be happy... Are you happy?"

"I...I'm not unhappy!"

"I'm trapped in a loveless relationship but you have a chance to be happy!"

"What about you Ali? I can't just abandon you!"

"You're not abandoning me! I need you to be happy. If I know that you are unhappy then I'm not going to cope- I need you to be happy so this wasn't all in vain..."

FP stood up and walked over to the bride... He sat beside her and cupped the side of her face in his hand. There were tracks in her foundation from where her tears had removed her makeup. His other hand held onto hers.

"Okay- I'll give Gladys a chance but the minute you are free from Hal and you are ready, I'll be right there by your side. Whether it takes 1 year whether it takes 50 years, I'll be waiting for you." he promised.

"I love you." She cried.

"I love you too..." He whispered wrapping his arms around her shaking form.

Placing a finger under her chin, he lifted her head up to make her look him in the eyes.

"Knock 'em dead love..." He croaked giving her a fairwell kiss on the cheek. Her eyes flickered closed as she hugged him once more (being careful not to get makeup on his suit) soaking up all the love and warmth radiating from him into the cavity in her chest.

He began walking out of the room, still holding hands, then fingers, then nothing but air...