T.W MENTIONS OF ATTEMPTED SUICIDE, NONCONSENSUAL ACTIVITY (KISS), AND HOMOPHOBIA
The bell rang past Newt's headphones, signaling that the school day was over. His heart rate boomed in his ears. He didn't know why he was so afraid of meeting hallway boy alone. The voices of chattering students didn't even help with drowning out his thoughts.
After James, Newt knew never to meet anyone alone. Why wasn't he listening to one of his main rules now? 'Because know one knows you here. No one knows the real Newt here,' his subconscious talked to him.
Newt built walls to protect himself, tall enough to keep everyone out. No one knew how fucked up he was, not even Lizzy or Harriet.
The halls were a monstrous wave of people, ready to swallow him whole. Not even the music that blasted into his eardrums could help him.
"You said take the violin that you hang on the wall,"
He reached the awfully paint chipped locker, twisting the lock combination. He threw his books from his back into the metal compartment, not putting that much care into it.
"Stick it under your bed before it crumbles and falls,"
The tapping of his shoes against the tiles were of no comfort to him. Combined with the pounding of his heart and the emotion that ran down his spine, it was a panic attack waiting to explode.
He didn't know why he was acting like this. He was never this scared to meet someone before.
"Just don't open your eyes before counting to ten,"
The numbers repeated in his head like an unstoppable loop. 'One, two, three, four, five..' He couldn't hold it out much longer. It wasn't helping.
'I can hardly remember, just the smell of your hands,'
Was this a warning sign not to go? Was his soul telling him this is not safe? And why wasn't he listening? He ran his hands over his face and turn his back to the locker. The icy metal felt it's way through his jacket, making him shiver.
"As they danced on my body, running over my pores,"
Newt pushed off and walked the separate way to B block, away from everyone. People were slamming into his frail shoulder and pushing him pass as he made his way. It was like he was cutting through an ocean of debris, revealing the beauty underneath.
"With the force of a steering wheel crushing my bones,"
The passageway between A and B block was a small sliver of bridge that connected the two. A breeze passed by, making his uncovered hands shake. The two doors flung open when he pushed on them, revealing the deserted hallway.
"I said you smell like the devil but you feel like the lord, and when I'm thinking of perfection,"
His footsteps echoed of the walls that confined him. He slid his hand across the wall while he put one foot in front of the other. Not long after, he was in front of the stairwell to the back of B block.
His heart thumped in his chest, threatening to leap out.
"you know I'm thinking of your voice, when you tell me you don't call him your baby,"
Newt stopped in solidarity, really thinking about his choices here. He could run and not meet him or he could go out there and no be afraid of some kid.
He chose the latter.
"Beacuse that was the name that you rightfully gave me, and it's foolish to share with someone else,"
YOU ARE READING
flatsound || newtmas
Fanfictionwho knew music could hold two broken people together? NEWT was hanging on by a thread, a singular note. music was the only thing that was holding him together and made him feel less alone; especially when he moves to another country. that was until...
