Learning to Be Happy Again

A Peace Offering (not a real update, but there is a lil' something)

A/N: Oh, would you look at the time. Goodness, has is been that long? I'm dreadfully sorry. Here's some unrelated fedex angst as an apology. I'll try to finish this soon.

Fitz slammed the door, angry tears streaming down his face. The conversation with his father had been less than ideal, putting it lightly. There was so much resting on Fitz's future, and Alden took it very seriously.

Especially after Alvar. The family couldn't take one more disappointment. He couldn't be the failure. That wasn't how this was supposed to work. He was the perfect child, how could this have happened?

Fitz slid down the wall and buried his face into his hands, Alden's words echoing through his mind. He was thankful, for once, that he didn't have photographic memory like Keefe or Sophie. The memories were already blurred slightly, his father's angered face a little less visible. But the words were as clear as ever.

"Why are you hanging out with that Dizznee boy so much? Why not with Sophie, or Keefe, even?" Alden's words felt like daggers, even though he was barely yelling.

"Why does it matter? We're just friends! And you can't decide who I'm friends with, it's my life," he had shouted, even though he knew full well why it mattered. The Dizznee family were not the most esteemed in their society, and his close relationship with Dex could tarnish his family's name. It was a small thing, but it was amplified because of what Alvar did. Fitz would never forgive his brother for that.

"Why do you think you're friends with Keefe in the first place?" Alden responded, growing more upset. So even that was controlled. His closest friendship, all a plot for all this legacy nonsense. Fitz was growing tired of it, but he was in too deep to go rebellious. It was his life, and changing it now would most likely destroy him.

But then Fitz thought of Dex. The time they spent together was the only time Fitz felt entirely free. No one cared how he acted there. No one cared if he made the kitchen messy with his baking, as long as he cleaned up after himself. No one cared that he and Dex sat a little too closely at the dinner table.

Fitz shook his head. No, they had to care about that. It wasn't right.

Dex's face filled Fitz's brain, more clearly than anything else had. He was laughing, eyes bright and crinkled around the edges, freckles accentuated by the light blush across his face. Making Dex laugh was the best feeling in the world, but it wasn't okay. It couldn't be like that, it wasn't allowed. It would destroy everything.

Dex's face wouldn't go away though, and Fitz let out a strained scream, muffled by his hands. Why did it have to be like this? Why couldn't he just be normal, for once?

Thought Dex continued laughing, and Fitz began to shake, new tears forming.

Maybe his father had been right to be angry. Maybe Fitz was in the wrong. It wasn't like being with Dex was any help. Even if it worked out, which it wouldn't, they couldn't really be together. It just wasn't allowed. Being with Dex was just hindering Fitz's ability to actually start the matchmaking process, which wasn't helping his family at all. People would begin to wonder, and that wasn't good for reputation. Maybe if he just distanced himself... but no, he couldn't do that. It wasn't fair to Dex. He would just push these feelings down and hope for the best.