Fate always has a way of bringing you back to where you're supposed to be.
He was arrested, and there was only one person he could call for help.
Jaden Hossler has been through a lot this past year. From a nasty break up, to a lot of hate, to gettin...
I watched as Halston shakily made her way down the staircase. She had on a black dress, black tights, and black shoes. Her hair cascading down her shoulders and blocked her face when she looked down.
I held my arm out for her when she reached the bottom and we made our way to the car. Halston and I were taking one car and Hayden and their mother took the other.
When we got in the backseat, I placed my hand on her knee and rubbed my thumb back and forth. I didn't know what to say. So I said just that.
"Halston, I don't know what to say," I looked up at her.
"Don't say anything," she cleared her throat, "just be here for me and don't let go."
I nodded and that's what I did. The entire time we were at the funeral I held her hand and didn't let go. I stood there as dozens of people offered her their condolences, I let her squeeze my hand whenever she felt like she was going to break down, and I walked with her to her father's open casket.
She knelt down in front of it and held her father's lifeless hand, whispering words that were inaudible to me. She stayed there for almost ten minutes before standing up, hold my hand again, and walking us back to our seats.
From the viewing, we got into the car and headed to the grave site. The entire way, Halston was folding and unfolding her hands, shifting every few seconds.
"What's going through your mind?" I asked.
"I don't want them to bury him."
"Why?"
"I-If they put him in the ground," Halston swallowed hard, her voice was wavering. She had managed to hold it together the entire service, which I have no idea how she did it. "Then it all becomes real and I'm never gonna see him again."
I wrapped one arm around her shoulder and she rested her head on my shoulder. Brushing her hair away from her face, I kissed her forehead.
"I love you," I murmured.
On the car ride back from the cemetery, Halston completely broke down. It was heartbreaking to watch, but soon her sobs wore her out and she laid down in the backseat with her head on my chest.
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"It's okay Hals, you're gonna get through this," I whispered to her.
Halston's POV
We put my Dad in the ground almost two weeks ago.
I sleep a lot now too. It's a great numbing mechanism, you should try it sometime.
I held it together for the entire funeral, but once I saw them place the coffin in the ground, I lost it. Jaden held me in the car as the fabric of my being fell apart. As my heart was ripped from my chest. As a million firework exploded inside my body. You get the point.
Jaden and I are driving down to visit his family today. From there he's going back to LA and I'm going back home. I just can't be in the LA scene right now in the state of mind that I'm in.
I leaned my head against the window as Jaden drove. I still had this hole-like feeling in my chest, but now I could turn off the tears on command and turn numb. Kinda like Stephen from Vampire Diaries. Yeah, okay, I've been binging shows a lot. Vampire Diaries being one of them.
"You okay?" Jaden reached over and rested his hand on my thigh.
"Nope," I said. I stopped trying to lie to Jaden about how I was feeling on day 2. His hand moved from my thigh to one of my hands. He brought it to his lips and kissed the back of my hand and the proceeded to rest his cheek on my hand. A small smile came on my face. "You're cute."
"I try," he shrugged, returning my hand to my lap and placing his hand back on my thigh. We drove in silence until I drifted off to sleep.
When I woke up, the car was parked and Jaden wasn't in the front seat. There was a blanket draped over me and my neck had a really weird cramp. Once I blinked a couple times, I could see that we were stopped at a rest stop and there was a Chick Fil A.
I spotted Jaden coming out of the Chick Fil A holding like a million bags.
"Jaden!" I got out of the car and rushed to help him carry some of the bags. "Let me help you."
"Hey," he smiled and handed me some bags. "Thanks."
We made our way to the car and got into the front seats.
"Geez, you got a lot of food," I said.
"Didn't know what you wanted, so I got everything," he said placing the milkshakes in the cup holder.
"You ordered the whole menu?"
"Yeah," he said.
"You are the man of my dreams," I murmured. The car went silent and looked up to see Jaden staring at me. "What?"
He leaned over the console and pressed a kiss to my lips, "nothing, I just love you."
"I love you too," I said, feeling my eyes get sweaty.
"Why are you crying?" Jaden looked alarm, "what? What did I say?"
"Nothing," I laughed through the tears, wiping them away with the back of my hand. "God I'm such a mess."
"Well you're my mess, and I love every part of you," Jaden said, "now c'mon let's eat this before it gets cold and nasty."
I smiled and Jaden passed me a chicken sandwich and some waffle fries. And for a moment, just a moment, I was okay. Not happy. Not sad. Just okay.
-
I'm so hungry after writing this chapter ngl
grief is a tricky thing because different people go through it different ways. when you lose someone, the pain never goes away, you just learn to live with it. grief is a natural process in life because eventually, everyone loses someone they love. don't rush it, don't bottle down the feelings. just do you.
