Identifying Sara

Chapter Twenty-Four

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"What?" Is the first thing that comes out of my mouth as he continues to stare right through me. He doesn't say anything back though, instead I am treated to the close up view of the beautiful blueness of his eyes. The patterns and shades of dark blue in his eyes are beyond beautiful. The longer he stays there, his blank expression, eyes refusing to blink, and just staring at me makes me shift uncomfortably in my seat, and no matter how beautiful his eyes are, I can't help but feel weird at his unusual actions that make me want to laugh at the confusion in my mind.

"Okay," I say furrowing my eyebrows, "Stop staring at me, it's insanely creepy." His face remains inches away from mine, but his mouth curls into a smile. I pinch my bottom lip with my teeth trying to hold in a smile of my own. Carson has the kind of smile that when you look at it, you can't help but smile yourself, it's almost like when your best friend starts laughing at some random moment without anything that could've been slightly amusing, you just can't help yourself but laugh as well. I've seen it on tv before, and now that's how I feel. I haven't really said anything to make him smile but his smile is contagious and now I just can't help myself.

"No seriously. What do you mean tell you more? There's nothing else to say." I ask, breaking the silence. He slowly sits back into his seat without a word and tilts his head to the side, not in confusion, but as if he is examining me. I tilt my head like him to mock him but find myself unable to keep the series of giggles escaping my mouth away. "Just say something already, you don't have to study me. It was just a question," I joke.

"I don't know," he shrugs keeping the smile on his face and talking back to the question I had asked him. "Tell me things that you don't tell other people."

"I already-" I try to speak but he cuts me off.

"Hush," he says calmly, "I wasn't finished. What I mean is like, your favorite color, weird habits you have, boys you stalk on the internet over the weekends."

My eyes widen when he mentions stalking. I hope he isn't referring to Alan, but I decide not to bring it up because the mood is so carefree and light, I don't want to ruin it. Not now at least. "What is this? Confession time?" I joke again. He shrugs and takes another sip of his drink while I think about my life on a daily basis which isn't always the most pleasant thing to think of. But nothing comes to mind, nothing can help me think of anything. "Give me an example." I tell him eager to hear a favorite color, or a strange habit of his. It takes him by surprise and he takes his bottom lip between his teeth as if he is debating weather to tell me or not. It drives me insane that I can't know what argument he might be having with himself in his mind at the moment.

"Come on, don't be shy." I tease. I fold my hands and rest my elbows on the table, scooting my chair closer to the table, showing him that I'm listening. He sighs in a way that makes me thing that I might have said something wrong, but he speaks before I can beat him to it or make anymore conclusions. "Ok this conversation is going no where, and I can't take this suspense anymore so, I think I should come clean." He says looking down at the table, avoiding my eyes. Even though he isn't looking directly at me, I look at him, and I'm confused, maybe even a little scared too. I thought things were going so well, even though the conversation didn't get far, it was going uphill, in the direction of the light, and now it's like the conversation fell and is now hurtling downhill.

"What?" I ask with a shaky voice that sounds more like a chipmunk's voice than my own. I don't mean to sound like a nervous wreck, but I can't help it. We were having such a good time, and suddenly I'm scared this is going to end badly, but at the same time it could end perfectly. There's so many possibilities and his silence as he thinks drives me nuts.