Identifying Sara

Chapter Thirty-Five

As soon as I turn the first corner of the hallway we came down before, I see Carson walking in my direction. He sees me aswell and says something along the lines of 'hey' or 'how did it go?' I don't respond. Instead I walk straight into his embrace, inhaling and exhaling trying to not cry for what seems like the millionth time this month.

"Are you okay?" Carson asks, his voice calm and soft, yet loud because his mouth is so close to my ear. "I am an experiment." I say back staying in my place wrapped in his arms, as close to him as I can possibly be. The silence that follows tells me that he probably doesn't understand, but he doesn't ask anything and I don't say anything.

We pull away some minutes later. Carson keeps his around draped around my shoulder as we walk closer to the exit, taking a seat in a couple of chairs just beside the door. Walking home would be a far walk and it's still cold out so it would be better to just sit and wait for my father to return. The chairs are metal with a pale blue crushion on the seat. Not the most comfortable chairs in the world, but leaning my pounding head on Carson's shoulder makes up for it.

My mind keeps trailing back to when the word "experiment" left my mother's lips. I know this isn't the right time to ask anything about any of the topics that were just discussed, but I want to know what Carson was asked and I also want to know anything he might have to say about this whole experiement. "Don't get mad at me, but I need to ask. Did you honestly not know I was the person your father was looking for until the bookstore scenerio?"

He sighs, "No- well, at first I was pretty clueless but soon as things started to not make as much sense I had an idea, and finally that day in the booksotre, that was it. I knew it right form then, my dad's picture on the screen was all it took. But I didn't say anything obviously. I just came home everyday telling my dad no luck."

I think for a moment, wondering just how to reply to that. His father asked, everyday? That's not creepy at all. Just kidding. . . that's insane. I know Carson has no control over that, he didn't know but I just have a hard time wrapping my head around it. I think back to what my father said about Carson. He said he didn't mean it, but once you say things, they can't be unsaid. Just a simple word can haunt someone forever even if they say they're fine. I don't have to worry about responding because soon Carson begins to speak again.

"And anyway, I couldn't say anything even if I had found out earlier then I did. Right when you jumped into my life, or I jumped into yours, whatever you want to call it, I instantly fell in love with your personality, they way you rolled your eyes at me and tried to run away, it was all sweeping me off my feet. To put it into simpler words, you're hot."

I gasp, swatting his arm. "Why do so many boys keep saying that?" I mumble without even thinking. Images of Elijah- wait no, Eliot, pop into my head. Carson laughs for about a second, no more then that, then he stops immediately. "Wait what? What boys?" I feel myself stiffen. Well great. The jealousy and anger in his voice is clear, most of the girls in book find this cute and attractive, not me. The tone in his voice is scary, rather then cute. Deadly reather than attractive. It's the kind of tone that makes you think he's going to get up and leave you stranded for the rest of your life. This tone scares me because it makes me think he's going to leave me.

"My brother's friend. He was being a creep though, don't worry about it." I say truthfully. His muscles don't relax though, neither does his breathing. "Are you kidding me? Forget about it? Yeah, ha-ha let's just all go out for some ice cream and pretend that your brother's bestfriend is drooling all over you, right? No big deal!" He spits sarcastically. Weird thing is, he was trying to be sarcastic yet he was totally right about the drooling part. Eliot did infact do that, I don't bring it up though. Instead, I begin to get mad, I'm getting yelled at for something I didn't have any control over yet again.