Believing lies

chapter 22

I stare at myself in the mirror, staring at my pale face and almost blood-red shot eyes, River and Celeste's voice muffled in the background as they probably debated on something like always.

"Baby!" River yells and I listen to his footsteps as I quickly reach for a tissue and wipe away tears that had fallen.

Crying made me feel weak, crying over Beck especially made me feel weak. And I wasn't weak, not anymore. Not after I had the courage to leave him, not after all I had gone through. He won't get any more of my tears, I won't give him that satisfaction.

"My love, we've gotta go," River sings in a bright tone as he opens the door. He stops as I glance at him.

"Sorry, I'm done, I swear," I tell him. River sighs and wraps me in his arms gently. I sniffle a bit. "Your gonna make me cry and I don't want that"

"It's okay to cry," He tells me.

"Makes me feel weak," I mumble against him.

"And?" He questions. "It's okay because I've got you. I'll always have you," he whispers. I sigh against him.

"I'm ready, I am I just. I don't wanna see his face because then I'll be tempted to slap it again," I say, and River chuckles.

"Trust me, no one wants to punch him more than you and I," He says as we pull away. He reaches over and wipes my tears away.

He pulls me forward, "you have been brave, for years. And I love how strong and brave you have been, it's what made me fall in love with you. You just have to be brave until," he glances down at his watch, "lunch and then you can break down those walls and I'll be here to hold you and help you piece every broken part of you"

"Let's just get this over with, I'm over him," I mumble and River smiles at me.

"That's what I like to hear, now let's go send someone to jail," he winks at me and I couldn't help but laugh. He reaches for my hand and pulls me against him.

Soon the three of us were heading out the door, "so I can't leap across the room and give him one punch?" Celeste asks from River's back seat.

"Nah, sorry," River says successfully driving out of the parking garage with one hand.

"Damn, I wish I could've punched him once," My best friend mumbles.

"Not gonna lie the first time I punched felt fucking great," River nods.

"Don't egg her on, she will punch him even in court," I tell him and he smiles over at me.

"Are you the first to speak up?" Celeste asks.

"Yea, Simon thought it would better for me to go first and leave it there, closure," I tell her and she hums.

"Something you fucking deserve," Celeste nods. The rest of the ride to court was filled with silence, the only thing keeping me from zoning out was River's thumb caressing my hand. I know he did it when I was stuck in my head and I had been for a good few days. I bite my lower lip as River pulls into the garage park of the courthouse.

We were meeting up with mom and dad who we could see immediately once we parked. Mom smiles at me proudly as we approach them.

Tucking a piece of hair behind my ear, "you doing okay sweetheart?" She asks me. I nod.

"Yea," I nod.

We meet up with Simon and he runs us through a few more things before we head inside. My hands grip River's forearm and hand tightly as we step inside and I see a few other girls my age standing by a door Simon has stopped at. Oh lord, they were the other girls that Beck had abused. My throat was closing in, I couldn't breathe anymore, I couldn't do this anymore.