Undeniable Lies- Saiouma/Oumasai Fanfic

Chapter XXIII- The Uncle is Not

(Kokichi POV)

I woke up in a place becoming all too familiar. Shuichi was asleep in one of the chairs in the room, leaning on the side of the bed. He was clutching his phone in one hand and his other hand was trembling. I intertwined his fingers with mine in an attempt to stop his shaking and shifting. Is he having a bad dream? I wonder what it could be about..

He gently opened his eyes and lifted his head. He rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times before making eye contact with me.

"H-Hey Kokichi, you're awake."

"Yeah, what were you dreaming about?" I teased him a bit, "Was it about me nishishi~"

He nodded. "Actually it was. You disappeared and left me behind- I couldn't st-stop you."

I pulled him into a hug, "I'm not going anywhere Shumai! What gave you that crazy idea?"

"You were passed out on the floor and I tho-thought you could've died," his eyes were welling up with tears. "Tell me why, please Kokichi. You've kept so much from me, I just want the truth. Please Kokichi!"

I heaved out a shaky breath. "F-fine. I'll b-be honest with y-you." He wiped his eyes, removing the tears daring to spill. "I have a voice in my dreams, he brings out my w-worst fears. All the people I have tried to trust, or gotten close to. They all betrayed me and left me behind or I had to leave them behind by force. It keeps telling me that you're not to be tr-trusted and you'll abandon m-me. Just like everyone else..."

He hugged me tighter, "I don't know all you've been through, but I'll never abandon you. Not again. I promise you."

He's lying.

Don't trust him.

He's pretending.

My eyes started sweating, "Okay." I sunk into him.  My voice was muffled by his shirt, "I'm sorry I made you worry. I love you Shumai, I didn't mean for this to happen. I just- needed relief-"

"I-I-" he paused. "I know, but please, call me next time. I could've, I could've helped you or done something. I want to be there for you, but I can't always be. I hate it. If you ever need, just call. That's all it takes!"

I nodded, "You're amazing Shuichi." I drenched his shoulder.

He held me while I cried. I am such a crybaby yet he still held onto me like I wasn't a burden to him even though I knew I was. He's here for me but I just keep him busy with my bullshit. I need to stop relying on him. He got me out of my home situation, he saved my life twice now, he's got me in a good house, he never made me feel like he didn't care. He has helped me so much but what have I done for him? Nothing. I cried harder.  

"You're amazing Kokichi, please don't scare me like that again."

"Pfft, how am I amazing?" I chuckled at him.

"You've never let people get to you, I admire that about you." He really thinks that? Guess I'm a better liar than I thought.

I spoke honestly, "I'm just better at hiding it."

"Don't hide it from me."

"Okay," I murmured.

Later in the day, I had to speak with a psychiatrist again for a new prescription. They sent me home the next day and  set me up with a therapist who I'd see in future appointments. Great.

Shuichi had given the scissors to his uncle who would hide it somewhere. I wouldn't be allowed in the kitchen either, as a precaution.

When I got home from the hospital, Shuichi was working at the cafe, so I spent the day sitting in my room. Just thinking through everything. I didn't mean for that to even happen in the first place, I just needed to calm down the only way I knew how. It was so stupid. The house was still and empty, until Benjiro got home.