By my side (Destiel Poems)

Hold you tight

I sense you
When the sun warms my face
It's like a stroke of your grace
Deep inside you left your trace
Followed me on my endless chase
Led me through my selfmade maze
Were my base despite my disgrace
With broken legs me you'd raise
No space for doubt in your gaze
Encase, take me back to that place
Your embrace after all these days
It stays, prays, colours all my greys
Nothing could ever erase our always

I behold you
When the waves are flooding the shore
It's like my blood has found its core
But I can't find my way home anymore
To you I'm calling till my lungs get sore
Can't close this since you opened that door
We hit the final score payed with gore
We tore, how could I ever ask for more
As I explore who you have done this for
Things I ignore are those I most deplore
You just saw the boundaries I draw
The armor I wore was harder than before
I've never been a soldier if love is war

I smell you
When I'm at our lake after the rain
It's like the past time never came
Deny in vain, put on me the blame
Couldn't let go of all that shame
Since then, I've never been the same
But how do you stop a moving train
How do you catch a plane in a hurricane
How do you contain the ardent flame
I'll bear the strain, I'll take the pain
Burn in me your indelible claim
Confirm to my flesh your branded aim
Nothing but scars remain, keep me sane

I perceive you
When I'm ready the fatal blow to receive
It's like I got something to believe
In the cold you make me breathe
And behold what's underneath
Tear up my disguise with my teeth
Let my armor fall like a dried out leaf
What will it leave, grief or relief
Take a part of me with you like a thief
'Cause for me there will be no reprieve
Who are we going to deceive
Our paths interweave, don't let them cleave
You got a hold on me just too brief

I taste you
When in short nights dreams lure me in
It's like a hint to what could have been
Too much of what I should have seen
Did you hear me scream, stuck in between
Since then, I've never again felt clean
On your mere presence I'm keen, it's obscene
On your sheer pureness I lean, can't intervene
It will ease the ache, it's my morphine
Could never wean the way you called me Dean
In your tempting sheen I'm fragile like a figurine
What those mean can no longer stay unseen
Green fell into aquamarine, fire and gasoline

I feel you
When the wind touches my skin
It's like our most forbidden sin
The truth was lost hidden within
Aching, we were more than kin
Yang to my yin, you've gone all in
So ruin, I take on the final spin
Against my walls you'll always win
Crumbling they were way too thin
Breaking to sing the glass heart hymn
I had never met someone to cling
Like the angel with the broken wing
Standing on the rim, let the fall begin

I hear you
When the tides rush in, roughly crush the sand
It's like the sea always comes back to the land
I listen to your breath, don't know where it went
Don't let your fingers slip through my shaking hand
In that second you descend, I didn't comprehend
Always missed the moment and what it has meant
Too much time I spent refusing to feel your torment
Pretend you were just a friend, in your words it'll blend
Instead of my consent, there is now heard a lament
On impossible odds I leant seeking your inherent scent
Torn I stand, we rend till there's nothing to mend
Broken not bent, my prayers I'll send till the end

I see you
When at the horizon the earth meets the sky
It's like at the silver lining we never said goodbye
I watched our ships passing by, don't know why
Never wanted to be that guy holding one on standby
Neither willing to rely on what would've been you and I
I wasn't ready to reply to what your glances imply
I rather closed my eyes, unable yours on me to espy
I rather stayed blind, unable the storm in you to descry
Didn't want to identify it's singing you the last lullaby
Pretend sunsets never die, but darkness doesn't lie
Can't deny, could never cry, but I give it one last try
'Cause now you fly for me to reach too high

I need you
Always
Not like a brother, but like air in my lung
Like a tree's roots need the rain and leaves the sun
Like someone who seeks needs somewhere to run
Like a secret needs anyplace to hide, a bird the flight
Like a dreamer needs the night, a worrior the fight
Like a sailor needs the stars, the light in the darkness
Like a sinner needs forgiveness, grace nothing less
Like a hopeless man needs a single consoling sound
Like a lost one needs to be found, a falling the bound
Like a shallow needs the profound, reach the ground
But you could never be a healing wound

I keep you
Here by my side, tight I hold you dear
To my soul so near, finally seeing clear
No more to fear like an in the ocean falling tear