Loki's forbidden love

Hope breeds eternal misery

I sat in the training room, staring at my shoes and trying to think of a way to finally end this thing. I mean how hard could it be to find him? I could easily track him right? All I had to do was use my connection.

So I at with my eyes closed for a second and thought of Thor and Asgard; it didn't work. Why wasn't it working? I did it easily within seconds last time. Nothing had changed, as far as I knew at least. I headed out of the gym and on my way I bumped into Wanda and decided she was the perfect person to ask about this.

"hey Wanda!" spun around on my heels to face her again: "I was wondering if you could help me with something?" I gave her my warmest smile. "of course Leia, what is it?" I looked down at my hands, fiddling with the brace "well I haven't exactly been able to find the connection to Loki yet and its worrying me. I mean I've been here for weeks now, it was supposed to be a quick mission and short enough for me to get back to Thor before he worried, I guess that didn't work out."

And just like Thor, Wands had that strange look on her face, it was driving me slowly insane, if sane is what I am. "maybe you're just having a bad day. Take a bath and relax for a while"

Maybe she was right, so I went to my room and started running the water. I was getting changed when I realised I hadn't asked Banner for something to cover my arm with in the bath so I turned off the water and headed towards the Lab.

Then I heard them talking about me. I stayed quiet and leaned against the wall, straining to hear them. 

"we have to tell her. We were depending on the connection, but I read her mind, I can see its completely lost." Wanda said through her thick Russian accent.

"no, we can't tell her. You saw how much happier she's been. It's unnecessary" I could hear Bucky's familiar voice.

"I'm sorry but I think Wanda's right. We need to make her remember that she loves him."

What tony had just said shocked me so much that I let out a loud gasp, causing the room to fall silent.

I ran as fast as I could and went for my room, ready to pack up my stuff and make a run for it. I'm not one to run from my problems but this wasn't running necessarily. This was acting out of anger. Acting out of sadness and pain from being betrayed like this. I mean they were all stood around discussing my love life, which I didn't even have. ESPECIALLY not with Loki Laufeyson. And saying they depended on the connection? I thought they didn't even want this in the first place. Only Tony did because he wanted a chance to look at the sand and geek over it.

Something didn't seem right here. Maybe I wasn't going for good, maybe I was going just to clear my head and go back. Or maybe I should take control and go find and KILL Loki myself. I didn't care in this very moment, all I cared about was getting out of this place before I had to face anyone and have the awkward 'I'm sorry we didn't tell you' conversation. But as usual, the world was not in my favour, and in that moment, Bucky Barnes walked through my door. He is definitely the last person out of all of them – besides Thor-  that I want to see. I and really grown to like him and care for him.

"Leia come on," he crossed his arms over his chest "stop packing it's not that bad" I shot him the coldest look and put down what I was holding, to give him my full undivided attention. "not that bad? Not that bad huh?! That's easy to believe coming from the person that betrayed me." I had a feeling that made this a lot worse. "Leia this was our decision. We weren't doing it to hurt you. YOU asked Wanda to erase any feelings for Loki and turn all the good memories bad. You wanted to be happy and that's exactly what she did. She made you happy again." 

I cocked my head "ok so if I'm happy then why were you all in there discussing it like it was a bad thing?" he slowly walked over to me and took my hand. "because doll, before when you tried to connect, you thought about him and your love and the time spent with him. And now you don't have those memories, so it doesn't work the same. It has caused a massive gap in your memory and we don't know if it's for the better or for the worse." 

I didn't exactly know how to feel about this. I can't imagine ever loving Loki. I can't imagine Thor being ok with it. Maybe that's because he wasn't and maybe that's why I was unhappy. "Bucky..... how unhappy was I? is it worth going and remembering?" I looked up at him with tears in my eyes. "I don't know doll but it can't be anything you can't get through, you're one of the strongest people I've ever met" 

And just like that, I had my arms around his neck and his around my waist. It felt safe here, like the world could come to a stop and I wouldn't notice. Almost as quickly as it had happened, it was over and Bucky was rushing around to find the door whilst trying to hide the blush on his cheeks. 

                                            ***

The avengers had gone on a mission along with Thor. They told me it was 'the usual stuff' but I knew if they were taking Thor then it would be a Loki thing. They send me regular updates on the comms and send pics of them goofing around on the road. I wasn't entirely alone in the tower but no one there was much for conversation, so I kept to myself and my confusing thoughts.

They were only gone a few days when they returned, I could hear ACDCs ' back in black' blaring from the speakers of the quinjet. Tony was always one to make an entrance. I put some sweats on and jogged outside, trying to contain my excitement to see my best friend again. Realisation hit me like a tonne of bricks when tony stepped out with everyone except Wanda. I knew exactly who'd taken her.