forty three

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jiminie; get yourself someone who looks at you the way taehyung looks at jungkook

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jungkook97: why do i look high
jungkook97: and why does taehyung look like he actually has muscles
vtae: i do have muscles excuse u

vkook65: OH MY FOD FBSNSNSN IM SI YES I HAVE BEEN WAITING DKR THIS FOR WHAT FWEL SLIKE YEARS

njoonie: still don't like this
kjinnie: no one asked u babe, they're cute❤️


njoonie: still don't like this⤷kjinnie: no one asked u babe, they're cute❤️

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sugabts: or the way jk looks at taehyung :) @jiminie

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vtae: r u seriously using me and jk to flirt with each other? gross

jungkook97: WHY DO I LOOK LIKE THEI DELETE
vtae: excuse u - i'm the one looking at the ceiling like a dummy
vtae: also i can't get used to u using this account to comment, so switch please
foreverjk: 🙃
vtae: thx bunny boi
yourhope: WHIPPED

jkfan3: why is jungkook so fucking attractive no matter what he does. i seriously don't get it.

jiminie: ☺️🕶🤏🥺❤️😍🥰
sugabts: wtf does that even mean?


REAL LIFE !

jungkook watched his surroundings with a beating heart - well aware that his anxiety that had been fine was all of a sudden acting up. why was he like this? why now?

jungkook tried to ignore it as he let his hands rest inbetween his thighs, restraining them from their shaking, in hopes of hiding how his mind and body had suddenly switched to alert mode. his thoughts suddenly filled with worry - calculating every thing that could go wrong - everything that had gone wrong in the past. everything he had done that was wrong.

he knew he had to escape his mind soon, before it went too far. jungkook looked over at jimin and suga who was cuddled up on the couch beside him before he excused himself, mumbling something along the lines of him having to use the bathroom as he almost sprinted out of the room.

jungkook unleashed himself as he entered the bathroom, locking the door. letting his hand grip hard against the sink, turning most of his hand white. before turning his gaze upwards meeting his own panicked eyes in the mirror. he looked like a mess. his face pale, eyes dull and glazed over. his whole body temperature dripping as he felt the cold sweat run down his back, as he fought to control his breathing.

for a few minutes he just stared at himself in the mirror, as he slowly collected himself. his mind getting under control as well as his shaking body.

"you're not gonna die - socializing won't kill you. they like you - you're forgiven, no one hates you. no one wants you gone," jungkook kept repeating over and over to himself, trying to convince himself of things he didn't know if were true - he just needed them to be.

"you're fine - look you're fine," jungkook then mumbled, as he forced the lump in his throat down. jungkook sighed, running a hand through his hair, as he straightened his posture. making eye contact with the stranger in the mirror.

was he ever gonna know the broken boy in mirror?

probably not.

jungkook splashed some water in his face, and dried the sweat running down his neck off. before he took a few long deep breaths and left the safety of the bathroom. jungkook still felt a little panicked as he returned to the living room, but nowhere near as panicked as he had been before.

"we were staring to get convinced you were somehow drowning in there," jin joked as he sent a smile towards the younger boy, who just shook his head with a shy forced smile.

he had been drowning - not literally, but figuratively. drowning in his own head.

"no sorry, i just fell into a tiktok hole," jungkook said, the lie easily escaping his soft lips. voice a bit hoarse and strained. and perhaps it trembled a bit, but it did ever so often that no one seemed to notice anymore.

"what's your favorite song today, bunny?" namjoon asked, sensing how uncomfortable the younger was - there was something off, namjoon knew there was - he had known as soon as jungkook had left the room. but decided to trust that jungkook had, had it under control.

"i - uh, probably i heard a song earlier, i didn't catch the name, but it went something along the lines of: pick up the phone, you see that i'm calling. you know i know that you're falling. this is the last day i'll spend on this earth, if you need me i'll be on the floor sprawling." jungkook sang softly, quickly gaining the attention of everyone in the room as he let the soft vocals escape his throat, and as he stopped he watched taehyung motion for him to continue, so he did. "the scars that you gave me are burned in my brain, the devil, he words in mysterious ways. me i know for sure that i see him in you, i think he's the reason for all that you do."  jungkook stopped as he didn't remember more of the lyrics, blushing as he watched the others clap. jungkook smiled as he went to hide his face in joonie's shoulder. flopping down onto his best friend.

"you okay?" joonie whispered, running a soft hand up and down jungkook's back. "yeah, don't worry," jungkook just whispered back. and he was, he was okay - they were okay.







authors note !
the exams were easy, and i think that should scare me lmao

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